A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I just got out of a 2 year relationship. The guy I was with claimed to truly be in love with me and even proposed to me this past October. We have gone through ALOT during those 2 years. 2 weeks ago we broke up for 3 days and he tells me that I'm the one and professes his love for me. Then 2 days ago we get into a MAJOR argument and he takes it all back and says that he needs his space. I say ok just come and get your things. He lives in the same apartment building as me and even on the same floor but for the last 2 days he kept making excuses about coming to get his belongings. So I finally decided to leave him alone and mail his stuff to him. During our relationship we have been closer than close to each other but there was cheating that went on earlier in the relationship done by him not me. This is a guy who has and had alot of options but I have been his only girlfriend and the only one he has ever brought around his family. I'm wondering if anyone thinks that he will ever call me to reconcile or will he leave me alone forever? I'm assuming a man would know better about how to answer my question since you guys know how you all think. Thanks!
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male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (3 March 2009):
 You know, it sounds like you want him to call you so badly, that I think you need to take the initiative if you want to talk to him. But if you dont want to lose your dignity, try moving on. The best advice for moving on i have found recently, once you are truly committed to moving on and having a better life and finding new love, is a book called "Its called a breakup because its broken"Amazing wisdom in that book, and also humorous.
A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (3 March 2009):
If he is like most guys his age, he will vacillate between wanting to keep his options open (fear of commitment), pushing you away when he feels secure that he has you, and wanting not to be alone, over-committing out of fear when it looks like he might lose you.
I've seen relationships like that work out, when both people thought they lost each other enough times to grow up. I've also seen people go through serial relationships like that, essentially not finding the person they really want, but thinking perhaps they never will and struggling with whether they have to settle to avoid growing old alone.
Sorry for such a pessimistic-sounding answer, but in my experience relationships rarely work well until both people personal (internally, secretly) commit to building a future life with each other, and are mature enough to understand the work and sacrifices that requires.
It sounds like he has - so far - done neither.
Best of luck.
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