A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it true that you 'just know' when you are with the right person? I know I love my boyfriend a lot but I sometimes feel that there is something missing, that we are maybe too different and that I don't know if I can see myself with him long term. At the same time I know I'd miss him so much if we broke up and I'd be gutted if I saw him with someone else. Is this something I should pay attention to, or do I have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should be? I know fairytales aren't real life, so is it sensible to have some doubts because nothing is perfect? So many people say you shouldn't have to ask anyone when you find the right one, but just as many say the grass is not always greener and there are many stories from people who didn't realise what they had until they lost it. How do I know what side I should believe??
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male
reader, tby1 +, writes (8 January 2013):
 You know when your with the right person, it's obvious to you, them and others surrounding the relationship. Luckily I found the right person and nothing else mattered, she was my world and more. Unfortunately I then ruined my world and others.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (8 January 2013):
 "I love my boyfriend a lot but I sometimes feel that there is something missing, that we are maybe too different and that I don't know if I can see myself with him long term."
What do you think is missing? It doesn't matter if you're into different things. Does he treat you well? Does he give and take? Does he show you he loves you?
"At the same time I know I'd miss him so much if we broke up and I'd be gutted if I saw him with someone else."
So let me give you a silly example here but you'll get the picture; Suzy feels something is missing from her relationship. She's losing interest in John. She isn't happy. However, she stays because she'll miss not having him around because she's "kinda used to it". Suzy, despite not being happy, doesn't want anyone else to go out with John.
Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?
If you were in love you wouldn't doubt it at all.
"So many people say you shouldn't have to ask anyone when you find the right one, but just as many say the grass is not always greener and there are many stories from people who didn't realise what they had until they lost it. How do I know what side I should believe?"
To know what the deal is here we really need to know what it is you feel is missing? What is it that's giving you these doubts?
I agree you shouldn't have to ask anyone when you find the right one. You'll know because you'll be in love. The only person you need to ask is YOURSELF.
The people who didn't realise what they had until they lost it blew it. In truth, they probably didn't lose anything. I don't regret breaking up with any of the girls whether I was dumped or whether I was the dumpee. You want to know why?
Because they weren't right for me.
Tell us, what is it you feel is missing here?
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