A
female
age
30-35,
*shortz
writes:So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months goin on six...and just the other night he found out from a girl he dated before me she is pregnant...he told that he don't want the baby momma and loves me. An sees us with a future he don't want me to go no where. I just am confused on how to act..? Do I stay o go? I want to stay and be there for him cause I love him. He didn't want this to happen but he's dealing with it I just need to know whereby come in... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 If you have been with him for nearly six months and she was five months pregnant that means he was either cheating on her with you or cheating on you with her.
A
female
reader, 2shortz +, writes (8 January 2013):
2shortz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo she has been 5 months pregnant. Though she needed to be put in the hospital because something wasn't going right. She lost her baby last night an his...I don't know how to deal with this now? I accepted the fact he was going to have a baby and I'd help out but not try to take the mothers spot. Now it's over with and I don't know exactly how to be there for him but listen.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 January 2013):
 how pregnant is this ex?
because anything less than ready to pop means that he was probably dating both of you at the same time...
and he didn't tell you for how long?
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (8 January 2013):
Been there, done that and it turned out in my case that he knew all along she was pregnant. I had to leave for my own sanity. Run for the hills!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): Leave. You've only known him a short time so it's not like you've invested years into this relationship or are engaged or anything. If you stay you're asking for a lot of drama.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (8 January 2013):
so you have been with your boyfriend for nearly six months, that would mean the baby is almost due, because he didn't go straight from one girl to another did he?
Whatever you decide is best for you the baby momma is going to be part of your boyfriend's life, right up until the baby turns 18 and chooses a career, starts dating and maybe gets married and produces grandchildren, or maybe the baby will grow up to produce grandchildren before they get married or finish school .... either way, a father, a decent, hands on, fully involved father, should be there all the way through that journey, and whether they are together or not, the baby momma is going to be right there as well. As its going to be a shared journey of such a long duration much better for the baby if baby momma dn babydaddy can be in the same room without spitting and snarling at each other.
To ensure the baby has a nice comfortable start in life without spitting and snarling between its baby momma and baby daddy, any new person in babby daddy and baby momma's lives needs to acknowlege the baby comes first for now, and personal differences need to be put on the back burner.
Ideally that is, I am aware real life doesn't always go the way it should, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't all at least strive towards the ideal.
So how do you feel now, if you are going to date and love a baby daddy you need to love and accept the baby, and acknowledge the baby momma's place in it all as the baby momma.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 It's good you love him and want to stay with him. It's great you want to be there for him.
The only thing I will say is if you can deal with sharing him with his kid by another woman and you can deal with the fact he will have to have some sort of contact with the mother regarding the kid then by all means stay.
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