A
male
age
41-50,
*ommy2k7
writes:This may be aa strange question, but do women cheat because they can't get enough sex, or is it for other reasons? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (11 January 2008):
In certain cultures when a boy reaches puberty,he's taken into seclusion and taught how to be a man which includes dealing with women but i know they are few if any books that will give you such guidance and coaching.Like our friends in the east have mantained such a culture even in certain parts of Africa.But the hardest part comes when applying what you know.In the end,you are learning through your own mistakes.I believe you can't learn these things apart from experiencing them on your own.
Letaz
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thats one thing you can apply in life for definite, not necessarily maths or science etc, but relationships, def!
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I remember somebody saying we get told how to do and go about other things in life, but not relationships! There isn't a 'big book of relationships - I wish there was!
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I did go out with my ex again, I wonder what my life would be like now!
The only other question I was wondering about is: when we were together, she asked me not to ring or text her about 8.30 at night. Why do you think this is?
And would our age difference (8 and a half years) cause arguments?
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a question, would most women give that answer?
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male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (10 January 2008):
That's a very classic excuse.If not that she'll tell you she doesn't know why she did it meanwhile deep down her heart she knows why.These women at times are so complicated and it feels like a waste of time understanding them.Don't bother finding out why.Either you'll never get it from her or you may never like what you hear.
Letaz
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHer friends said she was very serious about me
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (10 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe didn't really explain it - she just said it happened!
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reader, chlez83 +, writes (10 January 2008):
Man you were just too much into her.I sense that maybe she was looking for something less serious than what you were offering.No matter how well you click,you always need to asses her level of commitment.Others actually cheat on this from the beginning.Sometimes it's because she's still looking around for more options and you thought she had stopped on you.Anyway,atleast she stopped pretending early.Imagine staying for a year together and continously cheating on you.Don't make up excuses for her(Distance,age difference e.t.c).She just wasn't into you as you are into her.Focus elsewhere and soldier on.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): Did she give you any explanation.....anything at all?? Did she even make up any excuse..
Your answers are so short it just seems you are really fed up and depressed with it all!! My heart goes out to you.
Ye did have a lot of obstacles in the relationship. Maybe the effort was too much for her too keep it going. You deserve an explanation from her though!!
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reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (9 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did talk about the age difference before we started going out, but obviously that didnt make much difference!
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 That's a big age gap. Some eighteen years olds haven't experienced very much and may not be ready to settle down yet. It's not much of a gap between a 38 year old and a 29 year old, but 18 year olds can be very young in their thinking. An 18 year old can be just starting University and and a 28 year old is usually starting the direction their life is heading in. It can work, but I think that would be more unusual than not. Both of my kids aren't with the people that they were with through Uni, and in my sons case, among all the couples that were together through Uni, all the girls left the guys.
It's a hard choice for a girl at that age, because settling down into one relationship ALSO makes them think about kids and marriage, so she might have just thought it was too serious a relationship to get into. If don't know for sure that cheating was the cause of her leaving, perhaps it was just too much like a "Big Life Decision" for her to stay, perhaps it was all too serious and she wants to be an 18 years old. I'm just speculating. Take care.
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reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (9 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBefore we met up, we started chatting in a chat room, and then we just met up and seemed to click - never thought she'd cheat on me
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reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (9 January 2008):
 "We were only going out for 2 months, she lives 3 hours away, I did go and see her, but it obviously wasn't enough!"
In that case I'd say it was a fairly short lived thing and you're better off out of it. Perhaps you were a rebound? Or a bit of fun? Whatever the reason, be it either of those two or neither, it doens't sound to me like she's ready for a relationship at all anyway.
Perhaps she has a boyfriend and she was cheating on him with you?
Maybe she just thought it was a casual thing and you thought it was more than that?
Who really knows? All I can say is MOVE ON and best of luck :)
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reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (9 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were only going out for 2 months, she lives 3 hours away, I did go and see her, but it obviously wasn't enough!
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reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (9 January 2008):
Tricky one this. My EX was 18 and I was 27 and I don't think it was the getting too serious in my case as I pretty much let her dictate the pace she wanted to go at (which is what I always do).
It may be she has insecurities which is what I found. SHe was constantly jealous and very possessive. Her worst fear was me meeting someone else and abandoning her, running off with them.
Of course this never actually happened. I was only ever interested in her as I'm not the kind of guy to stay in a relationship if I'm not committed to it. However, needless to say the jealousy and possessiveness ended up pushing me away and what she feared most, happened. I left (although NOT for anyone else - I'm busy dealing with the break up which has been tough since I love/loved her and felt I had to leave).
Do you know for sure she cheated on you? The thought crossed my mind when I left her but I don't think she actually did.
Perhaps she just isn't/wasn't ready for a relationship? How long were you 2 together for? Relationships go through stages as they mature and maybe your relationship progressed to the next level and she misses the new, exciting feeling at the beginning and wants that again? Perhaps she wants to see what else is out there before she's ready to settle down? Or just wants to go out and have fun? There could be loads of reasons.
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reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (9 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was 27 and she was 18 when we met. Do you think, because I'm older, I was getting too serious for her?
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reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (9 January 2008):
tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've read through the answers, and because my ex lives 3 hours from me, I think thats why she did it. Of course, I went up to see her, but I think she must have got fed up, or something. What do you think?
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reader, chlez83 +, writes (9 January 2008):
This is one of the more interesting questions i've ever seen on this site and was actually waiting to see other people's response.
I've been cheated on.Have you ever asked a lady why she cheated.Most of them will say they don't know why.Let me tell you one fact i've learnt from experience.Over 90% women in stable relationships are sexually dissatisfied BUT of these only 30% cheat for sex.A woman is more likely to forgive you more for your sexual sins than most men do but they have their limits and when they reach it cheating is inevitable.Sex is a major reason most women cheat BUT they usually give you time to FIX things before they resort to that.A broader reason is being lonely.A woman desires to feel loved and a man's presence does that but when you are always away her cravings get the better of her.Now this includes but is not limited to sex.It may be that they need a companion,a friend,a supporter,a comforter,a reassurer e.t.c and because of distance or our own pride as a man,she ACCIDENTALLY finds a man who offers such,she'll be highly tempted to cheat.Others give in,others don't.
In short they want to be loved,which may include but is not limited to sex.So my anwer is both YES and NO.
Good luck
Take care
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (9 January 2008):
"This may be a strange question, but do women cheat because they can't get enough sex, or is it for other reasons?"
I'm of the opinion that both men and women cheat if something is missing from their relationship. There could be a number of reasons or any reason; lack of attention, being taken for granted, lack of passion, emotional support, etc.
If it were me and I felt the relationship wasn't working for me I'd rather leave it than cheat though to be honest but I suppose that takes more courage/guts.
Some people prefer to line up their next move before they leave and so go ahead and find someone else who can fulfill their needs. Maybe they find the right relationship and NEVER do it again, some, I'm sure, move again and again (like chasing the Dragon) until they feel they've found a relationship that's right for them.
Some people may cheat just for the excitement. Relationships go through different stages as they mature and perhaps they miss the excitement they experienced from the earlier stages of the relationship. Perhaps they'll earn from this and stick with one relationship or perhaps they'll continue to do this until they feel they're ready to settle down.
This applies to MEN as well as WOMEN.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): The biggest mistake i ever made was cheating...and no it wasnt because i couldnt get enough.
It was because i was with him so long he stopped paying me attention, didnt really make an effort to compliment me or give me affection. It just bacame too much of a routine Then this guy came along and made me feel like i was beautiful. It was so long since someone made me feel like that...if it wasnt him it would of been the next guy that payed me attention.
Jeez, i learned my lesson though!!!!!!
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female
reader, Lorna.. +, writes (8 January 2008):
in some cases the answer to your quiestion is yes they do do it for sex, but there are other reasons women cheat. if they do not feel loved in the realtionship they are in and another man comes along and treats her differently shes is going to feel loved bot just by one man but by two. also she might find the other person more attractive or someone who has better personal qualities.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): There are a multidue of reasons. I know this because I've been asking myself "why" I'm contemplating this inevitible affair when I'm so happilly married.
Emotional distance will do it. Physical distance will do it as well. When a woman gets bored or lonely, they'll only take as much as they can before they find a way to occupy their time.
Sex doesn't always play a role in the 'why' women cheat. Sometimes it might be the farthest thing from her mind. (Not usually, but sometimes.) :)
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Of course there are always a few young gals who just can't say no to the attention of other men, and then things go a little too far, but if we're taking mature individuals, I would say there are usually things missing in the relationship that cause women to cheat. Those things are different for each woman who has strayed. But usually the heavy hitters are: 1. She's not feeling respected/important to you. 2. She doesn't feel connected to you (i.e. there's intimacy or communication lacking in the relationship). 3. She's insecure and needs validation to feel good about herself, especially if you tend to be flirtatous, or have too many female friends lurking in the background. (It can be sort of a pay-back). And last but not least -- 4. She's fallen out of love with you and is looking for someone else. I hope this helped you out. Good luck.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (8 January 2008):
Don't have any personal experience here but I'll hazard a guess. Most women want the feeling that comes from being loved, desired, adored and wanted probably more than they want the sex. It's the rush. I think most women have an emotional need that hasn't been met if they are cheating. I suspect most habitual cheaters are adrenaline junkies who like the first thrill of new love more than they like bonding onto another human being, for any number of reasons in their personalities. Hey, Freud I'm not... I'm just offering an opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Sometimes yes, other times, no. There is never jsut one reason women cheat, believe me!
If you have a girlfriend, ask yourself why you would cheat on her (you may never, but be poky and find something no matter how small!).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): It's usually because the find someone visually more attractive.
Good luck
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