A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What is it with men and female friends?I have just had a major argument with a friend of mine about sex. Specifically the fact that because I am his friend, he would never sleep with me. I thought men were attracted to all women? Everything I read or see is about how men cant look at a woman without thinking sex.How do men see their female friends? Do they see them as off limits? Or just not attractive? Are they only friends with women they are NOT attracted to?I have lots of male friends, and none of them would ever want to have a romantic relationship with me. This really makes me feel sad and depressed as I have pretty bad luck with all men. The fact that the guys who I get along with best dont fancy me, just adds insult to injury. Id really like some insight here.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 You say that you've got plenety of male friends and they are all failed first dates.
Positive spin no.1 :
That's sort of a compliment. You must have a great personality. Not all men, few in fact, bother spending much time with girls they won't get action from; unless they are really very fun or really very interesting.
Positive spin no.2 : yeah it sucks when guys like being around you but they don't want to be intimate with you. There 's one thing that sucks more, though, and it's when guys are always hitting on you because they find you hot or they like your body- but don't give a damn about talking to you or getting to know you better.
I too don't think that there is anything wrong with you or that you are doing something wrong. Maybe you are just having a run of bad luck. Or maybe you need to meet new guys, or a different kind of guys,- and let them understand that you are looking for dating and not for friendship.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 November 2010):
Maybe look at the type of you're specifically attracted to. It might be that you need to change your type to meet different guys. You're not doing anything specifically wrong at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies.
I think my question was more of a generic thing, because NONE of my male friends want to date me. In fact, most of my male friends are men who I have met, liked and wanted to date, but who dont want to date me. The are all failed first dates.
Every guy I meet just wants to be my friend. Yet there are countless other women who have men falling overthemselves to have sex with them or who are friends that turn into relationships.
Sadly I know all about the friend zone and once you are in it, its very difficult to get out of it. Yet this is the category I get put in every time I meet a new man. Instantly I am labelled as a friend rather than as a potential girlfriend. I just dont get what is wrong with me compared to everyone else.
Caring guy - I know what you mean about looking for someone I want to be with and not just as friends, but that is how I found ALL my male friends. They just dont want to be in a relationship with me. What am I doing wrong?
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 Most guys I know see me as a sister to them, so they aren't attracted to me sexually, thank God. Little awkward. If you want a boyfriend, then you have to leave the comfort of friend zone and find a boyfriend. Some guys are attracted to their female friends (that is how me and my bf of two years met) and some just aren't.
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A
male
reader, love068753219  +, writes (14 November 2010):
they might want to have it ith you but they might have never had it. Or your with friends that are straight(nerds, very samrt people, or people who wait after they are married.)Try to get friend that are different then usaal
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 November 2010):
There he never been a close female friend that I have fancied. I'm sure some guys fancy their female friends. But there are some that don't. My closest female friends (all four of them), are women who I am not attracted to sexually in any way. That's not because they're not pretty, of fun, or anything like that. It's just because I saw more in them as friends than potential girlfriends.
If you want to meet a guy to have a boyfriend, you have to leave your comfort zone and find one, and get to know him as a guy you want to be with, and not just a friend.
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