A
male
age
36-40,
*nadin
writes:Hi guys n gals,I have been entertaining the thought of internet dating since becomming single...my friend suggests i wait a while and just meet someone naturally, they think internet dating is a bad thing to do, its mistly destined to fail....which i must admit my 5 internet relationships have, in big ways..Im a little confused as to what to do...i am naturally shy and i dont speak unless i know what im talking about or someone asks me. i have opened up a bit, but still keep myself to myself mostly, my circle of friends is small because im not one for two-faced people or rumour spreaders...what do you feel is better? Meet naturally like asking out in a shop or something or internet date?Also i dont have much money, i barely get enough to enjoy myself with, right now i really feel like some sort of scumbag or not good enough because i dont have money to go out down the pub or join in on a lot of activities, my ex made me feel that money was important, how do i undo how she has made my wages and finances feel inadequate?
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money, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): does it sound bad if you introduce your new partner as someone you met online
All my friends met their partners online so nobody is ashamed of it - it is the modern way in my opinion.
I was seeing a guy I had met online for 4 months and we bumped into some friends of his - he had told them that we had met in a club in a town where I have not been for about ten years. I didn't know he had said that and when they mentioned this particular town I said I had not been there for years lol.
At least if you meet someone online you get to know them first rather than meeting them in a club where you know nothing about them.
I am quite happy to stay at home 'with a bottle of wine and dvd' than go out and have no choice at the moment as my fella is out of work.
Go for it.... your lady is out there just waiting for you lol
A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (10 August 2011):
Anadin is verified as being by the original poster of the question so far you all think i should use internet dating as a dating enhancer?
does it sound bad if you introduce your new partner as someone you met online?
i know money is not everything, but feeling like i should take her out, go to the pub, or cinema, do some adventurous activities is a must do...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): So first you have to rebuild confidence, if you dont have money to go out much hows about a bar job a couple of nights a week..or a couple of evenings waiting on - somewhere you can be out meeting people but paid for!
Ime not a fan of online dating but its ok for dates here n there, can't take it seriously but some have success.
You like to chat when you find a topic you know about - so expand on that maybe?
No great shame in being single, good time to work on yourself and what you want out of life..so no great rush to be dating is there? It'l all happen eventually and take you by surprise
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): Hey,
I'd suggest you do both, set up a nice profile on a free dating site. Have someone make nice pictures of you and have an interesting text set up. If you can't write, get someone to help you. Don't waste much energy trying to meet someone online though, it should just serve as an option enhancer and confidence boost.
Then, be open and nice to people in real life, men and women. Be helpful. Approach women that check you out and start a casual conversation. Just talk about stuff that goes through your mind, even if it seems stupid to you. If she likes you, she will love listening to what you say. If she doesn't, so what!
And lastly, finances are overrated. I've been poor for a long time in my life and still had relationships with women. Your problem is that you make it a problem, not the lack of money itself. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong looking into opportunities to attract more money into your life. In fact you should do this as well. But ultimately love and feelings are not about pieces of paper. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (8 August 2011):
 To my understanding you are asking two questions.
Do I meet someone online or in person?
How do I get over how my ex made me feel about my wages?
For now I think you should concentrate on the second. You need to learn how to feel good about yourself. Are you unhappy in your job? Can you change or improve it? Think about what you can do to make yourself happy. Not by your ex's standards but yours.
After you are confident in yourself then try looking for a partner. There are risks to meeting someone online because you simple don't know this person or if this person is real. So if you choose to try online be careful and make sure you meet the person and their lifestyle before you get serious.
The same goes with anyway you choose to meet someone. Be careful and make sure you know the person before you get serious. If you are shy then online dating would make it easier however again there are more risks for online dating.
Take care and Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Carrie40 +, writes (8 August 2011):
You should do what feels right for you.
Money is not everything. I have dated men who are filthy rich and have had as much fun with dating men with hardly any money at all. Money can't buy you love. I am now in love with a guy who is out of work at the moment but we enjoy our time together regardless of that. It is summertime...get to know someone online then meet up and go for picnics (they don't cost much at all and are very romantic) If a girl is worth getting to know - she won't be bothered by how much money you have or don't have. Go for it.
Good luck x
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