A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have recently separated from my wife after I had an affair, I told my wife that I was no longer seeing the other woman, to save her any further upset, but I am still seeing her and want to be with her, my wife sends me malicious emails, texts and letters, which I cant blame her for, I know she has been hurt, it has been 2 months since the affair was discovered, and I want to move on with my life and have a life with this other woman ( she was my first girlfriend from years ago, who I have always loved ) but don't know what to do for the best, do I tell her about the other woman or keep it a secret for longer, and what to do about the texts and emails etc? we do have children who are in their teens .
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 1) Tell her about the other woman.
2) Get a divorce since you obviously don't love her anymore, or let the other woman go.
3) Change your number or just chalk it up to something you deserve. I know you want to get past this and on with your life, but obviously that isn't so easy for her with all of the pain she is going through, so the texts are somewhat deserved.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Is this a same sex "marriage"? Just wondering since you posted as a female.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Well I have to give you a little credit for explaining the situation, and asking for opinions. But like I said, a little. You are not the most important factor in all of this, you are the 'bad guy'. Stop and consider what your wife might be feeling at this moment. Stop and consider what your children might be feeling.
I am not surprised that she is sending you malicious emails. If the boot was on the other foot, what would you be doing? You want to move on, and she wants some explanations. How long have you been married? What do you mean by 'seperated'? How about some honesty all round?
You are the cheater. You can't really come on here and ask for sympathy, no matter what the circumstances. If you wanted this other woman, why not tell your wife, seperate, and THEN go for your first girlfriend? Why the sneaking and lies and dishonesty?
My opinion is that you tell your wife and children the truth, and stop messing them around. Give them the chance to make up their minds about what to think and do next. The longer you leave it, the harder to tell the truth, and the messier this will become.
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 If you want to be with your 'mistress' then i suggest a divorce because your just going to hurt your wife. You dont seem to no longer love her so save her on the hurt and apply for a divorce and be negotiable, provide for your kids and make sure they dont get hurt in this.
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