A
female
age
30-35,
*isingstar624
writes:Hello,My question isn't a dire circumstance as most questions on this site often are. It is just a confusing situation. About a month ago I was in school in Indiana, I began dating and met a wonderful man (lets call him Dan). He has a job, he has an apartment, a car. He seems to know what he wants out of life and is pursuing the path to get it. He lived an hour and a half away from me but we made trips to and from each other's places about every week. A week ago I moved back home because of some issues and now run into my unresolved problem, my ex. My ex and I were together for almost a year and a half. He was my first boyfriend and first everything else. My family loved him and basically adopted him into the family. We broke up in september but talked occasionally from time to time. In december we discussed getting back together but i remained with the guy i was dating at the time. I didn't come home since then. Dan and I are amazing. We never fight, he wants to provide for me and can, and I want to cook and clean for him. He works night shifts but I am often awake at night and talk to him during his breaks. Since I have been home though it has defiantly strained the relationship. We don't talk as much on the phone, and most of the time we don't have much to talk about. Also during my dark times when I am in need of a shoulder to cry on he is working. The only close friend I have left in my town is my ex. Thus i end up calling him over to help me through things.I have not cheated on Dan. My ex and I have remained strictly platonic in honor of him. But I find myself wondering if i should give my ex another chance. The problem is that he is roughly in the same place he was when i broke up with him. All the reasons I broke up with him are still there, we just aren't long distance anymore. So I stay with Dan though I feel the relationship withering and hope that we will find away to make it work though we are 6 hours apart? Or do I try again with my first love, trying to make it work now that there isn't a four hour distance between us anymore?
View related questions:
broke up, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (15 March 2012):
Thanks for the follows up.
Good on you! (Sometimes we really do see ex's through rose tinted glasses...!) Haha!
Maybe it was fate that brought you back to your hometown/ex just to confirm the reason you split up in the first place!?
;-)
Good luck with Dan, hope it works out xx
A
female
reader, Risingstar624 +, writes (15 March 2012):
Risingstar624 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. Having been home a little longer and gotten over the initial shock of being around my Ex a lot of the time I have determined that I was correct in originally breaking up with him and that if he and I decided to get back together it would be bad for both of us. All of the things that drive me nuts (in a bad way) about him are still there and getting back together with him would just have me getting mad about the same things all over again. I don't think that I was entirely over him until about a few weeks ago. Now all i see him as is a friend.
As for Dan, I do think that I love him. It might not be a super love where i would take a bullet for him or anything but we are just in the beginnings of the relationship. We have only been together a month and that love needs to grow. He has been nothing but amazing and supportive of me and I was never not happy with him, just being around my ex had doubts rising in my mind. At this time I am going to stay with him because we haven't had any problems and there is nothing that i don't like about him. He's amazing and I can't believe I would think of ending it with him to get back with my crap ex.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (10 March 2012):
Why do you have to be with either? I mean if you're not happy with Dan, maybe take a break or split, but that doesn't mean you have to get back with your ex!
Maybe you need a little 'single time' to figure out if you want either of them?
x
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 March 2012):
 "Sounds" like whatever is going on between you and EITHER of these guys is not very mature and adult at this point...
Let things simmer for a while....and don't convince yourself that you have to "tip your hand" to either of them... and let us know how things are going on or about June 15th, 2012....
Good luck....
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Dan Le Pew thinks you don't love Dan and you don't want to be with your ex either.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 March 2012):
 IF nothing has changed with your ex what makes you think it will work this time???
you know you can END one relationship and not go right away to another.... just be by yourself... figure out what you want....
...............................
|
