A
male
age
30-35,
*erawder
writes:I am 17 and have been with my girlfriend for about 14 months. She's my first girlfriend and even though I know it probably won't last on acount of that, I love her.But I feel down about our intamacy. As of now she's willing to rub me a bit down there, over top of clothing, and thats about it. She's just not ready yet for more, and i respect that.But what gets me down is that it's not just a matter of waiting, she has some big roadblocks. From talking to her about sex, I know that she might be intrested in giving me oral in the future, but she is disgusted by the the thought of me cumming in her mouth or on her body, or even in her hand. She has said she doesnt like the thought of having sex from "doggystyle." when my budy made a joke about threesomes around her, she asked me about it and when she heard that I thought it would be amazing, she was horrified and told me its never happening.I feel jealous thinking of what other guys get from gfs, but I don't want to tell her my fears for my sexual future because shes actually the nicest girl, and she would probably feel pressured at sad, which is not what im shooting for. Aaaah, any advice?
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male
reader, Merawder +, writes (11 January 2011):
Merawder is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. I guess I knew that I should just wait and see how things develope, but it's really nice to be able to hear it from others.
:) 6 replies overnight haha this site is great. Thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): You say you respect her decision and yet your jealous of other guys sex lives. Being in a relationship isn't about sex and pleasure. It's about being with th person you love and make them feel like there the only one in the world that your ever going to want and making sure that they know you are happy to have then and absolutely are willing to wait for her to feel comfortable. If you really loved her you wouldn't be jealous of other guys you'd be happy to have her.
The fact that she is holding onto her virginity and that she must love ou alot and if you'd are serious is that it's going to be even more special for you when she is finally ready.
Think about it this way. If you love her you wait for her and she's obviously sensitive about this subject so be careful and maybe have a dace to face talk win her about it. Tell her how yu feel , carefully and make sure she knows that you are willing to wait for her. That will help your situaution qlot. Maybe even ask her how long she thinks it will be before yous take things to the next step. Is she worth waiting for ? If your in it for love then you wait. If your just in it for sex there's alot of chicks around these days that will root and boot you so take your pick. But if she's really as nice as you say and if she's worth waiting for then I'd wait. You nt regret it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Before I was introduced into the world of sex, I felt the same way. I told my then-boyfriend that I never wanted to try oral (I thought it was gross), I never wanted cum in my mouth, I didn't want to do doggy-style because it seemed too porn-ish. However, a few months afterwards, I'd tried all of those things. Just saying, don't take her for her word. Don't, by any means, pressure her. Let her decide what she's ready for and willing to try, but just keep in mind that she might change her mind as time goes on and as she tries more things sexually. If her mind doesn't change, then just take it as it is and decide whether you like her enough to look past her inhibitions.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Is she a virgin? If she is, that is probably why she feels so uncomfortable, she has to actually get to know what she likes or dislikes. Be patient, be respectful of how she feels about it. The disgust she felt when talking about threesomes may not be exclusive to her virginity though, some people just do not enjoy even the thought of it, not because they are afraid it will not feel good but because it might offend some moral views or emotional vulnerability. Do not be jealous. If your relationship lasts, you will find something you both enjoy. It does not matter what other boyfriends are getting from their girlfriends, this is YOUR relationship, make it special.
I would also like to tell you to have faith in your relationship, just because it is your first, doesn't mean there is no chance at all that it will not last. There are relationship that start at your age and last for a lifetime.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Merawder +, writes (11 January 2011):
Merawder is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the record i really dont want to break up with her because shes an amazing person. Im just dissapointed with how she is sexually. I also am saddened by the thought of never exploring some of my sexual desires- like ever.So im really not sure what advice im hoping to get, hopefully someone has something insightful! As of now I'll just stay with her, and enjoy spending time with her
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A
male
reader, Merawder +, writes (11 January 2011):
Merawder is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the record i really dont want to break up with her because shes an amazing person. Im just dissapointed with how she is sexually. I also am saddened by the thought of never exploring some of my sexual desires- like ever.
So im really not sure what advice im hoping to get, hopefully someone has something insightful! As of now I'll just stay with her, and enjoy spending time with her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Hey..I think you should keep communicating..find out why she is not ready for what you are suggesting..show that you really love her in tender, beautiful, non-sexual ways..let her open her heart out to you..and then explain what you feel about her and about a physical relationship with her..assure her that it is not only about sex..but that sex is an extension of love..maybe she is too young to start experimenting with sex..let her settle into the intimacy of sex first..then talk about positions and threesomes...dont freak her out...ease into it...and dont get desperate!
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