A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy for almost 13 months. I'm a virgin and so is my boyfriend, but I give him blowjobs and handjobs. We're not going to have sex, because we've agreed that we're too young and not ready. We don't use condoms when I blow him, but I heard that we should because of STDs. I have no way of getting condoms because neither of us can drive and I'm always broke, so I'm kind of worried. What I want to know is: do I need to worry about STDs even though we're both virgins? thanks!
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blow-job, both virgins, condom, hand-job, std Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Thamks for the update... I'm glad you told me off. I was so busy trying to protect you, I was running off at the mouth and spouting a pile of rubbish. Your words to me were very clear, and you were honest. I'm glad, this has caused me to take a long hard look at myself, and I am now trying to change my ways.
Now you have explained a little more, I can see that you are trying to make sensible choices by arming yourself with as much information as you find. This is behaviour I admire.
By the way, I had no intention of suggesting you were a prostitute. I think you may have misunderstood.
"Like a pro" is just an English saying for a professional, somebody who has a lot of knowledge of something. I just thought frequent sexual experience at such a young age will cause you(and him)to become adults with a past history of several sexual partners(that's an assumption I shouldn't have made.) That would not make you a prostitute, that would make you similar to the average woman, and therefore normal.
Once again I thank you. Take care and look after you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for rereading my post :]
We've known each other for well over 13 months, we've just been dating for that long.
Blowjobs aren't something we do all the time, I've only done it twice, and don't intend to do it all the time.
For the most part, we don't do anything really, but every once in awhile the opportunity arises and we grab it.
We're trying to be careful, and we talk about it often. We're in complete agreement that if one of us wants to stop we will.
Again, thank you for rereading, and thank you for your response to my question.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I've thought about your post and now see the error of my ways.
I now see you and your boyfriend have decided against sex and are considering BJ as your main sexual activity. You have discussed this with him and you both agree. It's not ideal situation, but you have obviously shown that you have thought about this and are doing everything you can to protect your self and your boyfriend, and this is commendable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Your right, there is no need for me to be sarcastic, but that is what I currently make the choice to do. I know you have feelings, and I'm aware that my words my hurt you.
You present as 13-15 (underage) from the USA, and are deciding to have sex with someone you have known for 13months. You are both virgins, but both want and intend to have sex. You are ignorant and uneducated about sex. You need advice on STD's, which I have gladly supplied. It may seem to you that my intention is to frighten you but the herpes virus is caught through sexual contact and can be transfered to other people including children and elderly adults. Similar to the cold sore, there is no current cure, that I know of so far. Since your both virgins, this should not matter to you.....
As I said... I know you won't listen but what looks right at 13/15 looks a whole lot different at 25. It may be possible that your relationship with your boyfriend is strong and will last but evidence shows this is highly unlikely, as most relationships entered into at such a young age rarely last.
Your right, I may have judged you to harshly and for that I am sorry. You will die when your what 60/70/80years and may be one of the lucky ones that manage to find one partner to stick to for the rest of her life, but if your already into BJ's and planning to have sex after 13 months, I fear it may be a pattern that you may develop into later age. But then again as you have indicated I'm probably very wrong.
You may not believe it but I wish you well. If you feel you are ready and know this guy well enough to have sex with him, then I can say no more, you chose to have sex before you leave school and I choose to be sarcastic... Such is life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDiovanLestat, I'm sorry but there is no need to be sarcastic. I've read a few of your other replies and I don't think there's any need to be so judgemental. I'm asking a question, I didn't come here so you could tell me how to live my life, and try to scare me with descriptions of STDs. I'm not stupid, and I'm not uneducated just because I had a question. I particularly didn't like your comment about "piles of guys". Don't judge me if you don't know me. My boyfriend is the first guy I kissed, and it's only been within the past few months that we've gone beyond kissing. We didn't rush into anything, and neither of us have ever been with another person.
I'm not trying to say that you can't have opinions, but you can keep them to yourself. i didn't ask for anyone to tell me what they think about my age, I asked if I needed to worry about STDs. So thank you very much for your help, but maybe in the future you'll think about what you're saying? I might just be some anonymous internet poster to you, but I do have feelings, and I'd appreciate it if you'd respect them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Oh yea, I forgot to tell you about herpes. It stings like hell and you can never get rid of it. If you touch anyone, or even kiss anyone else (even your mother or sister) you will pass it on to them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Well wonderfull for you. But if you both keep going on like this you'll be a pro with tons of sexual experience, with a whole pile of guys before you reach the legal age to marry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst, thanks for the help. I've only read the first few sentences of the last reply, but here's some stuff to clear it up.
I'm the first girl that's ever gave him head, or touched his penis under his clothes.
And he's the first guy I've ever done anything with at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): You say you're a virgin but you've had sex with your boyfriend (OK it's blowjobs, i.e. oral sex, but it's still sex). If you want a truthful answer, you need to be a bit clearer about your sexual history because I'm not sure what "virgin" means these days.
If either of you have had sex (oral or whatever) with anyone else before, then there may be a risk of STDs. Oral sex is safer than vaginal or anal sex, and the risk is pretty low generally speaking, but if you're in any way unsure about your partner then you should insist he puts on a condom before he puts it in your mouth.
The following diseases can be transmitted via oral sex: gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis B, HIV, syphilis. The risk can be increased if there are sores, cuts or scratches in your mouth or on his penis.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I'm really not happy about you give blowjobs and handjobs to your boyfriend. I'm worried more about your future and your reputation if you continue. What seems right at 13, looks a whole lot different when your 25 and about to get married. There's a whole lot of things you can do with your boyfriend that dosen't involve advanced sexual practice, but I know you won't listen to me, so....
The only STD that I'm aware of that you can catch from oral sex is herpes. It's a form of cold sore, little white, inflammed sores that can appear around the mouth, vagina or penis. If your both virgins and have not had oral sex with anyone else it's unlikely you will catch this disease.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (18 May 2008):
 If you are absolutely sure that you're both virgins, then the likelihood of getting (or giving) an STD is really really low... like nonexistent IMO. But, again, that's assuming that he hasn't been with anyone else.
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female
reader, all i need +, writes (17 May 2008):
std's are sexually transmitted. unless he already had an std before you or is having oral or intercorse with someone else then it shouldnt be a worry. although just to be safe you mite still want to use a condom if it makes you feel more comfortable.
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female
reader, -NothingLasts4ever-  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 I don't think you need to worry about STDs if you're both virgins. But you can catch them from giving your boyfriend a blow job. It just depends what he's done with other girls to what things he could have caught from them.
But I wouldn't worry about it, I don't =]
xxx
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (17 May 2008):
If you're both virgins then neither of you will have an STI, but you might still want to think about using a condom as other types of infections can stem from these.
When you decide to have sex though,(preferably when you are of age) you must use a condom as I'm sure you dont want an unexpected pregnancy!
Here in the UK, you can get free condoms and contracepion advice from family planning clinics, Im sure there will be a similar system in the US.
xxx
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