A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We have been together 6 years im 46 hes 44 we have not had sex in 2 yrs we decided to call it quits but we stay together only for financial reason, until we get our money in order for the next 6 months anyway.I have found him talking to someone he knows in private messaging She's been having problems with her boyfreind and he's giving her advice Does it seem very sly what he's doing? even though we are not together? we said we wouldnt meet anyone until after the 6 months but it seems like he's setting himself up by chatting and hiding this from me
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 No, if you called it quits and are just sharing teh same physical space for financial reason, you have no say in what he does.
He is not being sly, he is keeping his personal business private . He does not have to tell you whom he talks to and for what reason.
you might have agreed not to meet anybody else before 6 months ( which, pardon me, makes no sense : either you are broken up , or you aren't , either you are single again, or you aren't , no matter what's your address ) anyway , if this is the agreement, you'd be justified in giving him a piece of your mind when you catch him in flagrant , i.e. actually meeting new people. Other than that, the more you stay out of each other 's private life, the better.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Well you have broken up so no, you dont have any say in who he talks to.
This woman already has a boyfriend so he's not chatting to her with the plan to date her, he is simply giving a friend some advice.
You need to remind yourself that you have broken up so you have no right to bother yourself with who he is talking to, especially when it is something as harmless as him giving a friend some advice. If she was a single woman and they were meeting up, then ok you would be right to be upset because you agreed not to meet anyone until the 6 months is up. But this is just a female friend with a boyfriend, there is nothing for you to get upset about!
Let it go, you are not together anymore so stop getting worked up about silly things like who he talks to. If he wants to give his friend some relationship advice so be it, its none of your business.
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