A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my bf is always stating that I want threesome and I tell him I don't and I never wanted it when it was offered. But he refuses to believe me or pulls some other guy outta the air and says I want it with him. It's so hurtful n annoys annoying, I want to slap him but I don't cause I love him to much, I wish he would stop with this. What should I do? I never indicated I wanted a threesome, it was offered by his boss. I told his boss straight out it's not a good idea due to our personal life n emotions for one an other - now because it was his boss I never wanted to be disrespectful towards the situation- if my old man is feel like I want to threesome his boss up and other guys up, why would he not address the situation while it is happening - my old man always thinks I'm cheating or crawling over guys and shit, I hate it its making me miserable. I don't know exactly how to address this with him, but he takes shit off the Internet and shoves it in my face and then wants me to tell him how I feel on that. At first it was fine but enoughs enough, him watching threesomes and dominance with sex - this is not intimacy for me, this is doing what you fantasised about watching porn, because I fail to meet his needs. But I've asked him why he watches it he says to piss me off cause he know I don't like it. And he is right I dont like it its degrading and I'm not into watching others having sex if I can't an dont turn you on, and you gotta watch porn to st back at me or to get aroused thats bs. Why can't we stop fighting about this and how the hell does this always turn into my fault? I do have guy friends and no we don't get sexually active with one another, they are friends and that's where they stand. Like am I doing something wrong cause he feels as if his needs are not met? I asked him and he wants more cuddling and affection, they thing is I always tried getting it from him and it's always escalated into sex, just cause you got a hard on don't mean I have to touch it am I right? I feel as though sex has no meaning cause we did it the first time we hung out, I don't want him to leave me but I don't know how to get over and out of these arguments.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 January 2013):
Leave him. That’s the blunt truth. Normally the best thing would be to talk to him but he already knows what your sexual boundaries are and he doesn’t respect them and keeps trying to pressure you in to compromising just so that he gets what he wants. Do you love him? Because that’s what he’s banking on: if he goes on at you enough you’ll agree to his demands. What does that tell you about how he sees you and this relationship? You’re just there to satisfy his sexual needs, there’s no respect for you at all. This is not going to work out, you’re sexually incompatible and there’s no room for compromise or desire on his part to stop being so utterly selfish. So walk away.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 He is trying to manipulate you into giving in to his "demands" - that isn't LOVE, honey.
Sex might not have the same meaning for him as it does for you. Which means you two might not be sexually compatible, and then what do you have?
Exactly what is it you love so much about him, that you feel you HAVE to suck up to his demands? No should mean no and he SHOULD respect how you feel. He doesn't.
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