A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy who goes to the same school that I do while on vacation with my friends last week. We hit it off and and by the end of the week, it felt like we'd known each other for years - we could joke freely and talk seriously with each other like I do with some of my best friends. The problem is that I've developed a major crush on him... AND he has a girlfriend. I know that he doesn't have romantic feelings for me since he treated me like a younger sister throughout the trip... yet at the same time, I can't stop thinking romantically about him. It doesn't help that over break, some of the things we did together - e.g. dancing together, hand-holding (as comfort), hugging, playful wrestling - only made my feelings grow. We exchanged numbers at the end of the trip and promised to hang out with each other at school; however, I'm planning to cut off contact with him until my feelings settle down. I'm afraid, though, that ignoring him will ruin our friendship, and that if I explain why I'm ignoring him, it might make things extremely awkward in the future. I don't know what to do anymore. The relationship we have is very precious to me, but if I start hanging out with him more, my romantic feelings for him will definitely grow and if I stop hanging out with him, I will lose an amazing friendship. Advice, please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): Thanks for the responses! I hung out with him a few times after we got back to school, but my feelings did grow
(as I was afraid they would). As Tasmanian devil suggested,
I'll probably just let the friendship fade.
A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 You have to think do you really want just a friendship and will you be able to cope with the duties (i.e him asking you for advice about his gf), will this friendship be good for you, or will it increase your feelings, you shouldn't cut him out but just let your friendship fade. But only if you don't think you'll be ok with seeing him go through relationships and get hurt, and remember the chances of you to getting together are very slim.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (30 March 2010):
 I was in the same place as you,only the guy was crazy about me and he had a girlfriend. He asked me to give him sometime to settle things with her,but instead i told him we should be friends. Then I realised he enjoyed my company as a friend,and also had his girl,and i had nothing! So i stopped being his friend and later on he confessed he still loved me etc etc.
By being friends with him,u will let him enjoy ur company and he will try not to cross the limits with u.after all,he will still have his girl for the sexual stuff.
what i suggest :
make him miss u. Tell him u started having feelings for him and u cant hang out with him anymore bla bla bla. Still smile at him and all that,but dont hang out with him.after some time,he will probably start thinking "damn what did i miss out on?? My girlfriend is getting on my nerves,i should have done something with that other girl"...
U will appear classy and let him decide while u wont stress being near him and being unable to touch him.
Good luck.
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