A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: hey, i always ask questions on this and either get just 1 answer or an answer that just doesn't help at all... i really need your help and to get that, i'm gonna tell you as much information as I can.The thing is, I really just want a boyfriend. Im not desperate, i just want that one person that can hold me and I want to find that one person that doesn't try and fit in and isn't a typical Manslag or scared to be with me. I have never really had a proper relationship and i feel that Im ready for the whole school romance, kissing in corridors thing.. and Im the type of person that can enjoy it while not ruining my education... even knowing it might not last forever... but enjoying it while its there. A couple of years ago, i started to like a boy and got really obsessed, falling out with him just to get his attention and being a full on bitch.. wearing tons of makeup... and after it all, i realised that it didn't work at all. I completely ruined my chances and ended up not bothering. I liked the boy for over a year but in the end I managed to get over him. So, beginning of a new school year.. i took a step back, stopped trying to understand all the "whys" and "how comes" and learned to love the life i had been given. Im still the typical girl who reads magazines but i love that. I managed to get all my amazing friends back and for once in my life felt popular just being myself. I wore less makeup and had my own style, my own hair routines and felt good about myself. Still do... I get on with my familyy even more, improving my grades and even having amazing friendships with boys and understanding them/understanding me. A couple of weeks ago, i did start to get involved with a no good boy and in the end, realised i am not giving up the me i have achieved and forgot him ( i know that was the right decision because he smokes weed and has sex at the age of 14). So yeah, you probably understand that Im happy being me and i have changed back into the lovely girl i was and i believe in myself. Me and that boy i fancied for over a year are back on track and he likes me more now i am not trying so hard but i don't know if just as friends... i do love him lots still and feel really good about it now? Do i carry on acting the way i am for boys to like me...? and anymore tips for me?? PLEASE HELP.
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female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (7 February 2010):
You carry on being who you are for your own happiness.If the boy you like likes you for you then that's great, it's basically a bonus, but don't try and change for him. Like you said, your grades are better, your family and social life is better, why mess that up for a guy?If your happy with your life right now and like who you are then continue on that track.And I agree, a guy like that (the one who smoked weed and stuff) could only be bad news - you made the right decision.Your life seems to be going really well at the moment, if your happy enjoy it and be yourself x
A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (6 February 2010):
Yes, keep acting the way you are, as your happy self. This is the most attractive you could possibly be. Its not guaranteed that you will get a boy acting this way but it is your best chance, so keep it up.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (6 February 2010):
It sound like you are acting just right! the boys who like girls who drink or wear lots of make up only like them for one reason, and that is not a reason anyone wants to be liked for. im glad to hear you and this boy are back on track that should be a sign that changing your behaviour was a positive step.If you want to know how he feels about you ask him! if he does just want to be friends then at least you will know and can find yourself another nice( non weed smoking) guy.good luck x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 February 2010):
Girlfriend, the best thing you can do to attract the right guy is to be yourself. Desperation wears like a bad perfume, and is definitely not attractive to the right kind of guy. It usually attracts guys who are looking for an easy target, someone who they can take advantage of or use. I think it's awesome that you're looking for a quality fella, and you're not interested in drugs or sex. That makes you classy, AND a great catch.
When you see guys looking at you, smile back - or go up and say hi. Guys often have trouble making the first move, so try to be more open and receptive. And being a little forward never hurt anybody, so if you're into a guy, strike up a conversation! Get the ball rolling. You're right, you don't need to try hard... just being friendly and a little flirty will suffice!
Show guys that you're happy and confident being YOU. That is the sexiest thing of all, someone who feels really great about herself and doesn't need a man to make her feel "complete". I think it's awesome that you believe in yourself. Keep that attitude up!!
The right guy will find you. And (obnoxiously), they always seem to come when you're not looking for them. Such is life!! Always unexpected.
There's no rush, and I suspect that you'll have a guy in no time. You seem like a great catch. Good luck, sweetness!!
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