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Do I break up with her before or after valentines day?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

After much difficult deliberation, I think it is time I break up with my girlfriend. Or, at the very least, have a much needed "state of the union" conversation that will quite likely end in our breaking up.

We've been living together for almost a year and a half, dating for about a year longer than that and known each other for going on six years.

I am currently away and won't be back at our place or see her in person until a couple of days BEFORE Valentine's Day.

My question is simple: Do I have this conversation before Valentine's Day? Or wait until after? I am torn and could use some advice.

I have never broken up with anyone before, and I'm very distraught over this.

Thank you.

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A male reader, DeadEyeDick United States +, writes (6 February 2010):

DeadEyeDick agony auntId do it on Valentines Day!! I mean what does it matter? at least you waited to tell her happy valentines, then end it! that way she knows you cared enought about her, that you would make her feel happy on valentines day!! she will be so in love with you for being so respectful to her feelings!!

SARCASM

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

I'd break up with her before, but maybe on the day itself just send a text to say hope your okay and maybe drop a hint that your on your own doing nothing etc, just so she doesn't think your with another girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

I'd break up with her before, but maybe on the day itself just send a text to say hope your okay and maybe drop a hint that your on your own doing nothing etc, just so she doesn't think your with another girl.

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A female reader, superwoman021 United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2010):

i would do what feels best but before, cause if you do it after you will just be lying and basically she'ss kill you, cause to a girl the meaning of love is important, and we never want you to pretend, x

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A female reader, GeorgiaGirl84 United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

GeorgiaGirl84 agony auntMy ex broke up with me on Valentines Day by text. He said he got another girl pregnant and we were over... The thing is, there is never a good time to break up with someone and regardless of your intentions, it's still going to hurt. I think you should do it before V-Day because if you do the whole flowers and romance and THEN break up with her, it's a big slap in the face. It will only confuse and hurt her that much more.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI think it's best to get it over with as soon as you can. Your heart won't be in any Valentine's day festivities and she's going to know something's wrong anyway. I don't see any reason to wait. The timing might be better, but then Valentine's is pretty much a manufactured holiday designed to sell cards, jewelry, perfume and chocolates anyway. If you wait until the "perfect" moment to break up, you might wind up hurting her more.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

Honeypie agony auntWhy wait til after? Why pretend?

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