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male
age
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anonymous
writes:I feel silly asking this, but here goes:I have a friend, whom I'll call A, who I was friends with for decades. Over the last few years something has been up -- he has been avoiding me, and doesn't e-mail or call me.We have a mutual friend, B. I'm pretty close to B, and while she knows A, they aren't that close.Would it be stupid to have B ask A why he is avoiding me, etc? (I think if I ask A myself, I probably won't get a straight answer.)I was thinking of asking B to say something like, "I hear you and C aren't that friendly anymore, what's up?" Reply to this Question
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reader, AMC  +, writes (21 February 2018):
Agree with other posts here - It's unfair to get another friend involved, as you are asking them to potentially not be entirely truthful about their intentions for asking and it just gets messy and complicated. If you are really keen to find out, then just ask yourself, send a quick email to ask if everything is okay for example.
Long friendships sometimes just run their course - and people drift apart. It doesn't mean that anything fishy is going on or you have done anything to upset the person, it's just what happens sometimes. But yes, if you want clarification, just ask yourself.
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reader, liddel +, writes (20 February 2018):
No, don't involve a friend. High School is long behind you and this is a high school activity.
Just contact the guy and say, "how's it going", etc. If he shows little or no interest, you knowing why probably isn't important to him. Move on.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 February 2018):
 I wouldn't get another person involved, OP. If you want to get to the bottom of things, email, call or text this friend yourself. Ask him if you have done something to offend him in any way? Say that you are confused about your relationship and just wondered what was going on. If he chooses not to respond, well then you know he just doesn't wish to be in contact any longer you could stop considering him as a friend and move on.
I had a very close friend who would only contact me when things were going good. We live states apart now but I always tried to keep in touch. She never would ask how I was, or show any interest in my life but would appear in and out of my life just to give me good news about herself. When I would respond to her emails it might be months before I heard from her again. It was hurtful and disappointing because we had been best friends in high school.
This last time was it for me. She had come to Florida with her family and didn't even let me know until she was already here and had started back home...just sent me an email said "passing through your town"...she couldn't even call me so we could have had lunch? I don't know what I had ever done to her but I blocked her. Enough was enough. Sometimes friendships just fizzle out.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 February 2018):
 You have put your age group to 51-59 so you are "old" enough to know that if you WANT the truth you go to the person you have issues with, you don't drag more people into any kind of drama.
So no, I don't think you need to ask other people who person A isn't talking to you, you ASK person A what is up.
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