A
female
age
30-35,
*atie-Lynn
writes:Hello! All my life (or at least a majority of it) I've been self-conscious about my body because I have a lot of body hair, small breasts, and have a little pudge (not fat but just a little belly). Well up until just recently, I've thought of how much I hate it and have come to believe that if I ever were to have sex with my boyfriend, that he'd find me completely unattractive. So I guess my question being is this..... what do guys pay attention to exactly when it comes to sex? Does our minor details turn you off or are you just finding ways to pleasure us?
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female
reader, Katie-Lynn +, writes (27 September 2010):
Katie-Lynn is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ The Realist Thank you! =)
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Lol then he's not paying any attention to your flaws. All that is running through his head is how lucky he is to be with someone so beautiful. I know it's not easy to just stop worrying about your appearance but I will say the same thing that he will tell you and that is that you are beautiful and special for who you are and that is why he is with you. You don't have to change and any change you do want to make only has to be solely based on what you want.
Hope this helps and I'm glad to see that you can joke with this because it gives me the message that your realizing that you don't have to worry so much.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 Honey,it's all in your mind, believe me. If he wants to make love with you,it's because he already finds you sexually attractive- and btw attraction is not only about what you see, maybe he is turned on by the sound of your voice, or the way you move, or the smell of your skin... anyway, you turn him on. And, if he also loves you- you could have two heads and a pig tail, and he would desire you anyway.
I already told this experience on DC, so my apologies to who read it already .
Years ago I had an operation which left a scar on my stomach. The first time I was going to have sex after that, I was... nervous is not the word, I was miserable- the guy was very very handsome and I was afraid he was going to be turned off, or even disgusted. But, I liked him a lot, and I decided to risk, - and to relax and let my self go no matter what. Everything went actually very well. My partner was complimenting for my soft, smooth skin, and I said : " Yeah... too bad about the scar ".He stared at me blankly :" Uh ? What scar ? ".
So, don't worry - chemistry has got nothing to do with perfection...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): Guys who care about you, not just about themselves, are paying attention to you and getting your needs met emotionally and sexually during lovemaking.
Not worrying about how your body looks.
Let me just say this, and I've never seen you, and never will. You are beautiful and the person you want to make love to is the person that thinks you are beautiful, and who you think is beautiful as well.
Find that first, and all the rest will work out.
I've a friend, for many years, who could never get over his first serious girlfriend's body type during lovemaking. Well, she's making someone else very happy, and has been for many years, while he is single, in middle age, never married, and deserves what he got.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (24 September 2010):
 My breasts are average - small and my boyfriend once admitted that he'd like them if they were bigger, but he knows that isn't possible (i'm totally against implants + i can't afford them anyway), but he still loves to touch and play with them. I'm also fluffy (i have big hips) and he's fine with it. He likes to tickle my fat tissues lol. At the beginning, before getting naked in front of him, i couldn't help it and i told him that i feel unattractive. He reassured me that there is NO perfect body and that i should stop obsessing over it. So i swallowed my insecurity and i never gave him the chance to reassure me again. If your bf didn't like you, he wouldn't be with you in first place. If he's ok with your flaws, if he thinks that no one's perfect, if he accepts you just the way you are, then he's a wonderful guy and you should leave away your insecurities about your body. There are 2 possibilities: 1. Take it and 2. Leave it. He went for the first one and it's a smart choice :)
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 All humans have flaws. This has become cliché at this point but it's still true: even the models that you see in erotic magazines have been "enhanced," trust me. Body hair is easy to get rid of; just go to a decent salon and get it removed. The belly? Enroll in a gym and ask a trainer for exercises that can help.
This isn't to say that you're unattractive or that no one would ever want you. Most of my guy friends accuse women of being overly self-conscious when they look fine.
@Romany: The SMELL is even worse! Ew! That's why I'm still single... I don't want some guy's smelly feet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): I agree with what the other posters have said. If your man loves you...that's all there is to it, he loves you. Just the way you are. He will think that you are the most beautiful girl in the world, no matter what! When you feel that connection with someone, you start to feel less self concious because you know he accepts you for who you are. To be quite frank, if he doesn't...then you shouldn't bother with him! There are guys out there that will apprecaite and love you AS YOU ARE....because you are wonderful! :)
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A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 I used to hate my stretch marks after having babies, my ex thought they were fantastic, cos they felt nice and were part of me!!!! Go figure!!...
He likes you, and he likes everything about you, and no flaw will make a difference, and if he did, then your better off without him anyway, Attraction is in the eyes of beholder, most of my ex's look like Mr potato heads. (big heads and mismatched features)...Again, go figure!!
And mens feet, ewwwwwww, have you seen them, most look like they have galloping foot rot as well (but then I like roughty toughty buildery types etc)....... and its never made me fancy them any less.
Dont fret.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): I have found that women often worry about things they shouldn't. If I don't find a woman attractive I won't be seeing her or sleeping with her anyway. So, if I am having sex with her, I've already decided I like the way she looks and I probably won't even notice a little imperfection here or there and if I did, I wouldn't care.
If you're that worried about it, you should do it with the lights low - perhaps just a TV on, or a bathroom light with the door just cracked to let some light into the room, or so forth. I had sex with my current girlfriend four times before I even knew she had an appendectomy scar - and I had licked just about everywhere on her body, including her stomach where the scar was, it's just hard to notice things like that with the lights low.
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A
female
reader, Katie-Lynn +, writes (23 September 2010):
Katie-Lynn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, he HAS seen less than a sweater lol.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (23 September 2010):
Has he ever seen you in anything less than a sweater. I say this because gauranteed he has and therefore knows what your body looks like and loves you for it. Only a shallow guy would be thinking that. Most of the time the guy will be watching your expressions or down there to see the action, not thinking about any imperfections.
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