A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK I need some advice on getting over this, cause its driving me nuts.I can't get over a girl I went on a few dates with, I usually don't get too many girls interested in me, but in the three weeks since I last saw her I've had two different girls wanting to go with me, and normally I'd jump on the opportunity, but instead I rejected them both, and honestly don't feel interested in any chick other than this particular.Only problem is she definatley doesn't feel the same way, if I call she doesn't answer, and if I msg her she immediatley sets her status to "Away".I've been ridiculously depressed snce she started ignoring me, I even hooked up with a girl I was flirting with previously for two years, and I still couldn't take my mind off this girl.So the last few weeks I've been either drinking or smoking (weed)on a daily basis, that still doesn't seem to help, I've felt like shit non-stop and need some advice on what I can do to move on with myself.Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): i got the same stuff,not smoking,or anything like that,i just think iam in love with this girl,cant consentrate,and cant get her off my mind,iam not gona go any farther,because it really pains me,please help me,please.......
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 First, your methods on covering up the paid are destructive. The hurt stays in our mind. Altering the perception of the mind by drugs or alcohol doesn't take away the hurt.
Being rejected does hurt. It's OK to feel the way to do. I've been there, and I don't know too many people who have not.
First I want to get this through to you, getting over this is a process, it's not an over night fix. You can't just take a medication to take this away either. You will need to daily work on getting over this. FIRST forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself for what happened, because it's not your fault. It's your choice to pursue who you want to spend time with, it's their choice to say yes or no. It's your choice to react to what they say in the way you do. All though it hurts, it was your choice to drink and smoke weed.
SECOND See a counselor. They can help you to sort out your feelings and work with you on ideas in getting over it.
What helped me when I was in your situation was coming to the strong realization that I could be happy without her. She can't make me happy, I have to make myself happy, and I couldn't be happy with someone else in a relationship, unless I knew myself and was happy with who I was first.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 September 2007):
This won't be your first loss. Learn how to move on. Don't look back. There are plenty other hot girls out there. Sometines the not so hot girls are much more fun.
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