A
male
age
36-40,
*daminio
writes:Do all girls/women play the hot or cold game, or indeed like the Chase? I feel its cropped up a few times where I've had a girl interested, giving hints then they go cold?I must admit I don't strike when the irons hot so I'm missing chances but still is it always like that?The prob/ is I'm never 100% sure and then wen the go cold I just think ok ive bored them off or not been alpha enough and then think deff it .. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): To rey to human-male: i think it's better for guys to go strong. A girl can always stop you in a cute way, when she likes the fact you are taking advances and you want her. The other way, that you don't make the move leaves her unwanted and desperate.
A
male
reader, adaminio +, writes (6 July 2013):
adaminio is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers cheers guys for the answers, .
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (2 July 2013):
 I think some of these replies are very good life lessons. I've often found it hard to understand how a promising mutual attraction can go south so quickly if you don't make all the right moves. From reading these replies and some of my life experience it seems you have to be really on the ball or she will lose interest. I was seeing someone and it seemed to be going well until our first time cuddling at my place. I was happy to take my time, cuddle and kiss her when it seemed right... which we did. But she wrote me afterward and said I was "sending her mixed signals" because any guy in that situation would have made a move. So she got the idea that I wasn't interested, despite me actually TELLING her that I was. If you're shy, lack a bit of confidence or even if you just want to take your time because you respect her they apparently take that as a lack of interest. So maybe it's better to be overly confident and make a move too early, rather than waiting until it feels right because they seem to understand that and expect that.Perhaps someone can confirm that. Is coming on too strong better than not coming on strong enough?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 July 2013):
 If they give you hints of being interested, - then you never strike the iron when it's hot, are you really surprised that they cool off, change their mind, move on to someone more receptive ?! what would you like, for them to keep waiting forever that you make up your mind and make your move ?1
At the very early stage of knowing someone, ( hopefully ! ) it's not love or passion yet, it's a curiosity, an attraction that can go either way, it can develop or it can be redirected . If the signals she sends out are well received, and acted upon, great- otherwise, she 'll lose interest and say : next.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): From a male stand-point, they're not sure what WE want. If you "miss chances;" why do you question if they all play games? Why don't you strike when the iron's hot? Roles reverse, dependent on the woman. Some prefer to pursue. If you don't like that. Then move on. Keep plugging at it. Sometimes you benefit from their self-elimination. You know who's patient and who's desperate.If you don't say the magic words "relationship" or "marriage;" somewhere within a week of contact, you're boring. Don't play with those words, you'll regret it.Do yourself a favor, stop over-analyzing and strike while the iron's hot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): Honestly, we exactly know what we want.
We just wanna be sure if your time worthy or time waster.
The reason why it appears like hot and cold sometimes, its because of guys actions too.
if there is inconsistency, we tend to get hot and cold.
Some women can't just say it out loud, so they get even by playing hot and cold.
Hot and cold treatment means you still have a chance.
Super cold treatment that's the time to stop.
Because its obvious, there's no chance.
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A
male
reader, human_male +, writes (1 July 2013):
I think in many cases women don't know what they want, and that gives the impression that they're playing games or going hot and cold.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (1 July 2013):
 First, you need to ditch the whole "Alpha" idea because that's just verging into territory that has no basis in real science. Don't let PUA's con you into thinking you have to Neg women and preen like a peacock to how her how "Alpha Male" you are.Here's the secret. Tell a woman within the first day of meeting her that you're interested in getting to know her in a romantic sense. That way, you can move on quickly from either a yes or a no, and don't have to worry about getting caught in the limbo of not knowing if your romantic interest is reciprocated or not.If you don't let a woman know quickly that you're romantically interested in her, she will assume you are not. That is not her fault because she cannot read your mind.Here's the secret to making a woman that you're seeing be more interested in you: Be interesting. As in, have your own satisfying life beyond just trying to find a girlfriend. Make sure you have engaging hobbies that you enjoy and can speak about. Being content with yourself comes across as a confidence and self-love that is a highly attractive trait in a mate. If you are comfortable with yourself, you read as good Boyfriend material. If your life is consumed with finding a girlfriend, you will read as needy and desperate, which dries up vaginas faster than a yeast infection.So, in review: Make sure a good portion of your life is filled with interesting hobbies you feel passionately about, and when you do meet a woman you are attracted to, let her know quickly so that she's aware of said attraction.
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