Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Brenen123  +, writes (6 July 2012):
Not all but some do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): I have a feeling all men do this.They are programmed that way.If you find a man who is not going to tell this to you, he would probably be fantasizing in private with out telling you.Honesty is much better.I do think he should have been sensitive to your feelings.Men are extremely physical beings and women are emotional.They probably think ,"at the end of the day I am with her.So how am I cheating on her."We have to learn to live with it.As Fade said improving our self esteem is the key.Then we wouldn't be bothered about it.
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male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (17 November 2008):
There's a big difference between picturing someone naked and considering having sex with them.
Elephant.
The thing is, he has no control over it, it's just something that happens, and idle thought. It certainly doesn't mean that he thinks about it in anything other than a superficial way, or intends to act upon it.
It's simply something that occurs to us sometimes (well actually, pretty often)
It happens in the same way as you got a mental image of an elephant from reading this, simply because I put the word 'elephant' above.
Nothing to worry about.
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female
reader, Conslw +, writes (17 November 2008):
Conslw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with what you are saying FADE and I have asked all these questions too. And he simply says it just happens and that he will never act on it or even take it to the step of planning or plotting because he knows he is not meant to be with her. But What he doesn't realize is that I'm always nervous he goes away for weeks at a time for work with this person and if the situation should arise well then it's just hard for me to imagine that if enough booze and maybe some rockiness in our relationship should arise then Bam it happens. Thanks for everyone's advice I'm not sure how I feel that he would be picturing my friends naked or any of his friends that are girls and I guess that is one of the things I will have to work through. Is it bad that I don't picture people naked? that I adore the one I'm with because if I don't I will not be giving this relationship a chance? I just know me and well when I want something and I choose to want to look at someone in a certain I go get it. Ugh well thanks again!
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female
reader, Conslw +, writes (17 November 2008):
Conslw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo It doesn't matter how good looking and great your girl is to you. You guys will always wonder about girls naked including women that are close to you? No matter how sexually satisfied you are? So there is pretty much nothing a girl can do if she has pretty friends her boyfriend will be thinking about them naked. Is that right? I just want to absolutely make sure
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Men do - but I know a lot of women who will just as readily imagine a guy naked. Sorry guys its not unique to you!!! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): You haven't offended me in the slightest! If I was offended I would have said so, me being a straight up and down sort of fella, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression, I certainly didn't intend that to happen!
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 No not all men are like this. Some are gay, old and tired or just have a low sex drive but as for the rest of us yup we are pretty much "interested" in sex with any good looking girl in the vicinity. Generally we have been socialised not to act on this but that IS what is going on in our heads.
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A
female
reader, Conslw +, writes (17 November 2008):
Conslw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUncle Phil you respond as if I have totally offended you and I'm not sure why. I'm not knocking the urges men have but some I think leads to infidelity ot at the very least lack of respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Control it? In the first place, I don't think so, and in the second place I wouldn't want to. It's an innocent pleasurable pastime that costs nothing and embarasses no-one - unless the object of my mental undressing turns around sharpish and asks me what the hell I'm looking at!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Oh yes. Particularly if she's got nice legs and is wearing a skirt with a hemline above the knee, or a tight 'T' shirt where her nipples sort of poke through. Or if she has a plunging neckline that looks something like our own BigSis's photo.
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female
reader, Conslw +, writes (17 November 2008):
Conslw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay so let me ask another question Can guys control it? I know everyone keeps saying "Men are different" and don't get me wrong you guys are different in many ways and I don't take that away from the male persuasion but I know myself I don't picture people naked unless I want to.
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male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (17 November 2008):
Yup, absolutely normal.
It's not something we deliberately or consciously do, it just sorta happens automatically.
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