A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I have been married to my husband for 2 years now. He has a 9-year old son with an ex-girlfriend. They broke up when their son was 3 but the ex still expects my husband to help her out with her own finances as well as to help her family. The son leaves with my husband and me. She does contribute to his upkeep at all and only has him over every other saturday and sunday. I have finally put my foot down and told my husband to stop involving himself with her family. She even expects my husband to chaffeur her relatives around and says he should "do this for his son". She blames me for my husband stopping helping out. I have told her that she needs to learn to fend for herself and to stop expecting help from my husband. My husband is also not totally happy with the latest arrangements because he thinks it will jeorpadise his son's happiness. I think it is a result of all the years of manipulation and they have played on his guilt conscience for a long time. Am I wrong in asking this from my husband? I just don't want any other woman making any demands on him other than me! Is that so wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks for your answers. Really appreciated. You helped me to calm down because I was starting to doubt myself. Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your answers. I was starting to think that maybe I am overreacting by asking my husband to stop helping them out with things unrelated to his son's welfare. I have spoken to my husband again and we seem to be on the same page now. Thank you! Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, samsmommy  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 i think you're right. it's not like she has the son living with her and she's trying to get child support, she has him 2 weekends a month and the help she's asking for has nothing to do with her son so why would your husband have to pay for that?
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 No your not wrong at all. The boy lives with you, and the mother pays no maintainance, therefore your husband shouldnt be doing anything for her. When you take on another mans children, there are always going to be a few problems, but this is rediculous. As long as he keeps helping the ex will carry on demanding. The best thing he could do for all of you, is to point out to her that she will have to look after herself from now on. End of story.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"She does contribute to his upkeep at all and only has him over every other saturday and sunday"- I actually meant She DOES not contribute to his upkeep at all other than during the 2 weekends a month that she has him. When asked to help out this is one of the answers she gave "I do not have money for that"
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