A
female
age
51-59,
love sucks!
writes:well ive been separated for 3 years now,divorced for one.i was with him for 7 years,which is a long time to me.he was definately the love of my life.we were young and dumb i guess.falling in love with someone and wanting to be with them forver is one thing,but living with someone and being compatible together in your everyday lives is very different which is what i found out the hard way.realtionships are a hard thing as it is though and why would u want to be with someone who you are fighting with constantly,over eevn little things that makes life evn harder on you than it has to be.we all want that one great love that catches us when we fall and is there for us no matter what,and someone who loves us and cares about us,and knows us the real us.thats what were all searching for.the way i look at it now is its a learning experience yes it was the hardest thing ive ever experienced,I found out who was truly there for me and who wasnt really and when i went up to visit my grandmother to clear my thougths and make sense of things my mom said to me before she left you are alot stronger than u think u are!and she gave me a hug.at the time i didnt like what she said,after all i wanted my husband back my best friend back and all my plans,hopes and dreams for my future!but ive found out that ive grown and changed into being alot stronger now,and im proud of that,theres alot ive been through and i can handle alot i couldnt of back then.ive also met new friends and lots of guys along the way!but now im learning sometimes u need to focus on yourself and what u want in your life and only that,and say bye to men for the present time.someday i know ill met another man,whom ill fall in love with,except this time i think itll work out.and im open to that someday,just not right now.
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female
reader, Jewels Gems  +, writes (17 March 2008):
WELL SAID !!! EVERY SINGLE POINT ALMOST MIRRORS My situation and sentiment. And I am delighted to see there are a few of us SURVIVORS who have been blessed with family who spur us on to make positive out of negative. My own mums phrasing was "What doesnt kill me , Only makes me stronger !" & I make sure of that whatever life throws at me .... I will grow from it and come back out fighting There is a huge difference licking wounds whilst addressing what went wrong to avoid recurrence & wallow in Unproductive Self Pity , Not a pure innocent victim of conspiracy without any responsiblity . Both play a part in why it stops working,It takes 2 to make & 2 to break.
The mistake is stop talking, sharing thoughts with each other after all isnt that what fundamentally makes us fall in love with somebody - Our thoughts & feelings are who we are, We dont make time in busy lives to show we are still interested in each others day to day feelings, which makes us become defensive and the wall goes up between a little more each day,
If My ramblings help Someone who's beginning the journey after split feel a bit hopeful,& less alone to start fight back. What we all must remember that the only source able to bring us true happiness is US ourselves, Other people arnt there to Make this happen. Once realized the rest will follow. An I was married 16 years, an now 40 more attractive & sexier than when 20, & more male attention than the younger girls off all age ranges , The possibilities are greater than then also then.. so Why would I think my future will be much better ! I will find my happiness by discovering what it is that will make me feel this. As the lyrics in Whitneys song say "Step by Step, Day by Day is all any of us can be sure of.
I am certain You will find your true love & real happiness sooner rather than later, as your definately same as myself on the right road with right mind to recognize it when we see it darlin xXx Would say good luck but You dont need me too, We will make our own eh chick ?!
X
A
male
reader, Chemer +, writes (26 February 2008):
 I am going through a separation. Whilst it seemed the end when she left and got herself a flat in July last year. It now is a blessing in disguise. I have more freedom. I may be single, but that doesn't mean I mope around my flat watching the clock all day.Time went fast. I started off moping for a week. Then I started to meet women off line. Yes I had a lot of one nighters and also a 3 day sort of relationship. Then I got myself in a full blown relationship.I have found that I have socialized a lot more and my confidence has grown to the point that I feel alive for the very first time in years.I think that when you get married you lose your identity. You become a couple. People refer to you as a couple. You feel trapped etc. That is why I am sure why a lot of marriages end up in tears.Steve
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A
female
reader, Aylarsh +, writes (23 February 2008):
 At the end of your divorce you were at a cross road in your life. You must have picked a good one. He was the one you relide on but now you know how to fend for your self. Keep on going with what you are doing now. You will find someone new and a better life. You want it bad enough you'll get it!! Good Luck love!3
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