A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This past weekend, I visited my boyfriend at his home. I found some text messages between him and another woman that suggested there is a relationship between the two of them. She stated to him to let her know when he gets home so they can talk about the two of them, she wants to move closer to where he is, and asked for a key to his house so that she will be there for him when he arrives home on the weekends (he works out of town). This past Valentine's Day, he questioned me about us having a future together, but how can he ask me that when he is having a relationship with another woman. How can I confront him about his cheating, how can I let him know that I know about his relationship with the other woman?
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female
reader, meaculpa3839  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 I am so sorry for this because this is never a good situation. This will affect your self esteem and you will (if you've not already) become someone who are NOT! Then he will twist it to his favour and it will become a silly childish blaming game. You need to take the high road darlin because once a cheater always a cheater and you will NEVER be able to trust him... Besides in all fairness to yourself you certainly do not want to be in a relationship where you feel unloved and insecure. It's tough but be strong and walk away. Heal and find the love you deserve. Nothing can repair the loss of trust. If you are married to the man then my advice would be much different. Good luck and be well
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMeaculpa 3839, I have had my suspicions for awhile now, and his activities in the past few months lead me to believe that he is having a relationship outside of our relationship. He makes sure that I am out of his vicinity before he uses his phone, whereas if I have to use or answer my phone, I am in his presence, because I have nothing to hide. I am not proud of the fact that I went through his phone, but I am not able to fully trust him. Thanks Meaculpa!
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A
female
reader, meaculpa3839 +, writes (22 February 2008):
If you went onto his cell phone without his permission to check his text messeges you must have had a reason. I obviously don't recommend to anyone that they break that privacy and trust. But ask yourself a question... why did I look? Women have intuition and if you looked because you thought you might find something then is he really someone you want to be with anyway?The fact that you did find something makes the fact that you looked secondary. Confront him with honesty is what I would do. No need to beat around the bush in this situation. If you have both decided to be in a monogomous commited relationship and if he is cheating as you've stated then this is a no brainer. Let him go and be with someone you can trust. And be thankful you found out now rather than later.
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A
female
reader, faith_believe_love  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 All you need to do is follow your first instinct.
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