A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello All, I recently started a relationship with a guy and both of us were very nervous about getting into a relationship. After talking a lot about many things like previous relationships, family, friends, ect. and a few sleep overs without sex, we decided we wanted to be "Boyfriend and Girlfriend". Things were going well. But we have a few obstacles. We live a half an hour away from each other, but still going to the same college right now. He is very busy with his hobbies of building things and fixing cars and whatnot. We were trying to see each other as much as we could. maybe once a week. During all this, he was really excited about me meeting his family and saying how he wanted to take me places and do certain things! And in these few past weeks we have had awesome times together, have been having sex too. I was delightfully surprised. In all good ways. This last weekend, he took a trip to visit friends and tour a college he was kinda interested in. We didn't talk much over the weekend. Here and there, then the night he got back, we both wanted to see each other, so I went to his place. He talked a lot about this college and how cool it was and how close he was to his friend and then he was saying stuff like next semester, and this next spring... I was really surprised. I think he wasn't really thinking about moving next semester that much either but, it was very out of no where. I just listened and thought about it a lot. Didn't say much. I drove home late that night. Since then, it has really bothered me. I tend to over think things, so I asked him in a text if he was really thinking about moving to the city in which the college he wants to go to was in, and he said yes, I really like the school. I told him that I was excited for him and I thought it was great. Then I told him that I could be over thinking things but next semester wasn't too far away and I asked if I should be worried about possibly getting to like him too much and then have him move away. I still have not heard a reply back from him. I didn't text him at all today just cause I didn't wanna bug him, but I am thinking about texting him tomorrow. I just don't know what to think about all this. Should I be worried? And he is the kinda guy who doesn't push things to the side and avoid them. I thought he would at least say something like I haven't thought about it much or agreeing with me. Some response of some sort would have been nice. I just am concerned. Does this seem like a reasonable question to ask him? I thought so.
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female
reader, mammaboo  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 Maybe he hadn,t thought it through that far and maybe the relationship isn,t as serious for him at this stage as it is for you. It maybe that this new encounter has made him rethink things and he knows the answer but can,t say it so you have almost done it for him. By this i mean he doesn,t want to engage in deeper conversation because you have already given him the easy option.
A
female
reader, 90'sbaby +, writes (23 November 2011):
I wouldn't ask him why he didn't reply. Just wait for him to come around he will sooner or later.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 It may be reasonable, but it's hard to answer. He has no control over what you feel and will feel, he only has control over his end of the things- which include doing what's best for him and his future , i.e. moving to the new college. He can't stop you from falling in love, or advise you to yes, fall in love but just 50% more than now.
That's totally up to you.
Unless , the sense of your question was simply : do you plan to continue our relationship long distance, or do you want to break up when you leave ?
This is a more pertinent question, because allows you to make an informed decision . Be aware that the answer may very well be " I don't know yet, let's take it a day at the time " - but that too allows you to decide, whether you are fine with that and want to take a love gamble, or you need to play it safer in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, questionable2009  +, writes (23 November 2011):
It sounds like hes a bit confused. He wants to go to this college but he knows you will get upset when he confirms you will hardly see each other.it's a hard decision to make but he is obviously looking at his future. I think you should assure him that he needs to go to the college. Youve spent a wonderful 7 months together and distance relationships can be sustained, even though they can be more difficult. How far is the city and whats to say he cannot come back and visit of a wkend? Or maybe you go and visit him?Please do not make him choose (I know you didnt say this but just begging you dont do this!). Respect his decision and support him in it. If you do love each other a lot, the distance thing will work. Ive seen it happen with friends. Wait until tomorrow and then ask to meet up rather than over text. Wait until you see him in person to talk to him about what is happening now and how he feels. If he sees you in his future while hes at college then just take it day by day and see how it goes!!
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