A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it even possible that what happened was molestation? My best friend, who was a year younger than me and the same gender as me touched me for 3 years between age 7 and 10. I never wanted any of it and it makes me sick thinking about it now. But can it even be called molestation if she was a girl younger than me? Did she even know what she was doing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): HI, I was molested when I was a child by an adult, and as such I have gone though a lot of therapy and actually studied behavioural psychology. My answer is at that age she didn't know what she was doing, it wasn't molestation as much as curiosity for her at that age. A lot of children are curious and do thing like this, and as we get older we start to feel shame. My advice is to find someone whom you trust and talk about your feelings about what happened, and try your best to put it in the past. I am sorry that you have had to go through this, as I know that it is hard. There is nothing you can do to change what happened, but you can move forward and put it behind you. I know that you can do it because you are a strong and beautiful woman. I wish you the best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI stopped being friends with her at age 10 to end the behaviour. I used going to another school as an excuse to stop seeing her. I've only seen her once since then in passing. And yes, I have forgotten about it and put it behind me, and 99% of the time it doesn't effect me at all. Just something brought the memories up today. I wasn't planning on taking any legal action at all anyway- I know children can't be held responsible for their actions, and there is no proof even if they could- this ended nearly 10 years ago. But it's good to know that some of you have had similar experiences, or know people who have. Thank you for your help!
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (16 August 2011):
 I agree with both posters. Most kids play doctor at some point in their life with someone else, same sex or otherwise. It only meant that you were both curious and that you knew parts of your body were pleasurable to explore.
I'm actually reading a Judy Bloom book "Summer Sisters" right now and there are two girls who are doing this - so it's something that does happen and I know of several people who have talked about this happening to them as well. This is quite different from a older teenager or adult molesting an innocent child. Even if she was the initiator, I really DON'T think that it was a deliberate act of molestation on her part at that age. If you are still bumping into her it may stir up these feelings of shame, anger or guilt, I don't think that you should give those feelings a lot of weight even if you have them. And at your age, I wouldn't read anything into this other than normal curiosity and exploration, you would certainly know by any crushes that you have had for the rest of your life about your own sexuality, in case that is why this is bothering you, if that is of concern. I would just chalk it up to childhood exploration and curiosity and let it go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): ...I doubt it and I think calling it molestation is a bit absurd.
Kids mess around. They copy things they see on TV. They imitate things they think are forbidden. If you didn't like it and you found it so sickeningg...why are you still best friends?
I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's VERY common, but few people will admit it. I messed around. I had a friend who messed around with me, I didn't particularly like it either...I just went along with it, but I don't feel like I was molested then or now. In retrospect, I suppose she was just curious and mimicking something she saw elsewhere.
Do you feel ashamed about it? You can talk to her about it you know? I've done it before with childhood friends and it's not as awkward as you think. Sometimes just having the conversation is a relief.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (16 August 2011):
 I think it is a real grey area here. She may not have known what she was doing and at that age the child is not legally held responsible for their actions. Also you have expressed that it was unwanted but I am sure the communication of that was not as clear as you thought it was.
Personally I don't think there is grounds for any legal action and in the end it would probably be something best forgotten. I'm sorry it happened and that you feel bad about it but you were young and that doesn't make you the person who you are today. Talk to a close friend or someone you can trust and let your feelings out then put it behind you.
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