A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:A couple of weeks ago I went to a friends bday party and met this really beautiful, funny, cool girl. We laughed and joked all night. Danced a little bit. It was one of those nights where you meet someone and go "Wow, I really like this person" Eventually, I found her on facebook and she posted on my wall saying "YES! You found me! I was planning on searching for you!" She gave me her # on facebook and I texted her later that afternoon. Then even later that evening she had an emergency and begged me to help her sister carry her couch inside her new apartment as it was raining hard that day and she was all alone. I helped her and she said regardless whether she needs my help or not, lunch for sure the next day. So we hang out all day the next day at her sisters place. Eventually she reveals that she's seeing a dude 12 years older than her. (She's 20) Understandably I was a little saddened by the fact that my dream girl was already seeing someone. And whats the deal with calling this dude "The guy that I've been seeing" seems like taking the long way around just calling someone your boyfriend. Or am I over analyzing? So since finding this out I've pretty much switched gears with her, stopped flirting and everything and have just been "friendly"My question is did I misread the signs? I mean she booty danced on me, gave me her number, and invited me over for sushi all in like a day and a half. I'm trying to not like her, but its hard. You guys have any suggestion on possibly winning her if at all possibly that is.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Yes that sounds perfect. At least then she will get the clear picture that you are interested and it will be up to her then to let you know what her deal is. So yeah go with that idea it sounds perfect. Goodluck.
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (2 March 2011):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow, just coming right out and saying to a girl "hey, i like you" is the number 1 no-no in the man rule book. Girls sometimes become intimidated by such outright proclamations and don't always respond well.
and I don't think that she was just being nice to me because of alcohol because honestly didn't have much, we even talked the night we met about how little she drinks, she definitely was sober when she invited me over for sushi. I mean, as single women would you just send a guy you met 24 hours prior over to your sisters house? I was kinda still a stranger, albeit a cool charming stranger, but im just saying...she must've thought pretty highly of me to trust me like that.
I've never come right out and told her that I like her, but since we've met i've called her beautiful enough times for her to know I'm attracted to her. Im pretty sure women know when I man is saying your beautiful because he likes you.
Next time we're talking or texting maybe I'll subtly bring this other guy up in conversation, ask if they're serious, and maybe tell her that if they weren't I'd be trying to date her. How does that sound to you guys?
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Tell her you like her, but you don't wanna ruin anything with the guy she is seeing. 'Cause if you ruin anything with him and she really likes him, it may end up with her hating you.
If she only likes you as a friend, you should keep your distance and respect that. Give her time, it may not be a serious relationship and she may like you too.
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (2 March 2011):
 She really likes you ...and found you just as amazing, but enough so that she didn't want to ruin the moment with "Oh, I have a boyfriend." It would risk you feeling like you're being dissed and/or not her type, etc. So...she decided to lead you on. (not so nice)
Beware of her! Your dream girl might be a hidden nightmare waiting to happen! I know this isn't what you want to read BUT her lack of immediate honesty is a big red flag.
The fact she's dissing her boyfriend with, "the guy that I've been seeing" isn't very respectful. Imagine all this guy has probably done for her and she's quick to stab him in the back just because, she's twitter-patted over this hot older guy. It's possible she might do it to you, over say..."a sexy Hollywood guy with mad style"
The problem with dishonest people is: you never know when you're getting the truth.
Take care. Be safe.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 March 2011):
Ok it is possible that she just wanted to get to know you as a friend. However she did say that she was seeing this guy not that they were actually in a relationship. Therefore if i were you i would ask her what the deal is, tell her that you think she is a lovely girl and that you like her but that you will respect her boundries if she is seeing someone else and see what she says. She may be one of these girls that have 2 or 3 guys on the go at one time until she finds one she really likes, therefore it is important to get to know her and be honest with her at the start so you can see what she is all about. So just be honest with her and ask her outright and see what she says. Goodluck.
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