A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My younger brother came out to me recently, telling me that he is bisexual. I really do support him, but I also am feeling overwhelmed by the situation.I feel I may have influenced him. When we were 12 and 15, I went through an experimental phase. And he was aware that was how i was, at the time. However, I came to my understanding, as I got older, that I was heterosexual. He says I had nothing to do with it, but what if he is wrong?Like I said, I really do support him. I'm just not sure how to process all of this. I'm also worried what could happen to him because it can be a tough world for bisexuals and gays... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 May 2011):
 I don't believe that you had anything to do with his decision. As he got older, he just made his choices. Unless you held a gun to his head, there is no reason for you to feel that you did anything wrong. I think its so wonderful that he feels comfortable to be able to talk to you, and that you are there for him. Just continue to be open with him and make sure he knows that you are on his side. You are right that he might experience problems because of his choices sadly. At least he will know that he has a fabulous brother standing in his corner!
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (7 May 2011):
Yes it can be tough, but if you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re bi, you’re bi. Some people are never in doubt about their sexual orientation, for others it can take some working out, not least in terms of finding a label to help explain it to others-many people may define themselves as bisexual and later heterosexual having come through an experimental period, or gay. Others use terms such as “open-minded” to describe a situation where they may have confidence in their sexual orientation but wouldn’t rule out being attracted to somebody outside of their normal preferred category. If you’re brother says you didn’t have any influence over this, I think you should take him at face value. In fact, it may be that he’s able to be open about his bisexuality because he has confidence in your support and understanding, which is a good thing and certainly not something for which you should feel guilty. You experimented, perhaps he’s doing the same because he’s not sure of his sexuality, or perhaps he is bisexual and certain of it. Either way, being around people with a particular sexual orientation doesn’t turn you in the same direction although it may help you to be more honest about it because you have confidence that you won’t be judged. Stop beating yourself up about this and be a support to your brother for what and who he is. You have not caused this, I assure you.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Hello :) The simple answer to your question is no.Everyone at some stage in their life has these thoughts, what it would be like with the same sex, some will experiment, while others will just keep them as a fantasy. You can not make someone feel sexual towards another person, weather its the opposite sex, or same sex. Your brother has chosen which path his life is on, and that happens to bi-sexual. I am so pleased he has a sister like you who will stand by him, and be there for him when times get ruff. And that's all you can do. Please don't feel that just because you had these experiments that you somehow passed this on, its not a disease you pass on. its just life.I hope this has helped
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Don't worry about him and don't think that you affected him, his preferences simply appeared as they did, naturally.
I hope that helps.
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