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WIfe puts her friends before me

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2023) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2023)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello Cupids,

I am married to my wife for 3 years, but we have been together for 5 years and we have 3 kids we take care of together. We had broken up a few weeks ago because she put her so-called friends before me and our children. She has one friend(let's call her Sandy) that she works with who would say disturbing things to me to try to make me feel envious and my gut feeling to told me something was going on between them. The day before I moved out, my wife had went to Sandy's house after work and deleted Sandy's number out of her phone because she called Sandy when she got to Sandy's house, but what she didn't know is that I seen her car in Sandy's driveway. I confronted my wife when she got home and asked her where she was and she lied to me. She started getting defensive and mad. She called the police on me because I got angry that she was lying to me and I left her by herself in the living room and went in my room and threw my stuff around the room because I felt so hurt and betrayed. She told them I was crazy and I was making things up, even though I had evidence and she wanted the police to lock me in a mental asylum! Afterwards, she took a video of the stuff I threw around the room and sent it to friends and her friends said horrible things about me and even my best friend and her were saying all kinds of wicked things against me, saying I was the devil, How I am a setback, how I am a financial drain, my best friend said she should kill me, and my wife made it seem like it was all me. She has another friend(Let's call her Danny) who was kicked out of her home and she stayed with us and she would cook only my wife dinner and would ask what my wife likes to eat. Every time danny would try to avoid me and run behind my wife to go on the road with her. I caught her on my doorbell camera showing someone on the phone my house and acting like it's my wife and hers house only. I told her she had to leave. I told my wife she has to block her and she had the danny messaging her from a different number. Even her friend Sandy I told her to block and she refused to. She instead lied to me that she did block her, but I had checked her phone and seen that she didn't. She came back for me when we were broken up and she apologized and seemed remorseful. I came back and I told her she needs to stop talking to all the people who tried to ruin our relationship. She blocked some and said she is going to keep talking to 2 other people who disrespected me as her wife while we're together. It hurts that she will not let these people go for me to be comfortable. What do you guys think? What do you think I should do?

View related questions: best friend, moved out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2023):

Lonelygal85 you know nothing about me other than that I am happily married. I don't drink, swear, lie, cheat, flirt, steal, so not sure how you work out I have no moral code.

Think you need to see a good therapist and get your facts right before you speak again.

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A female reader, LonelyGal85 Canada +, writes (3 February 2023):

Anonymous I feel sorry for your husband. For you to say such cruel things, shows you are heartless and have no moral code

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2023):

Lonelygal185 you said anonymous is obviously a home wrecker like your wife's friends. No. She is a decent, caring, loyal, faithful, honest person who has been happily married for a long time. But would not put up with such a partner.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (30 January 2023):

Honeypie agony aunt1. OP you need t obe calm and consider recoding arguments so they can't be used against you later.

2. Your wife IS prioritizing this other person over you.

3. You gave her an ultimatum but you are all bark.

4. Is this really HOW you want to live? Is this what you want your kids to grow up with? Toxic drama?

5. The coworker (danny) is ENJOYING the drama she is creating, you know that right? And you are playing RIGHT into it.

Do you have family or friends? That you can take yourself and the kids to and stay?

Your marriage isn't healthy, your wife acts like she is single.

I think you would be MUCH better off without this wife of yours. And I think your kids would be too.

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A female reader, LonelyGal85 Canada +, writes (30 January 2023):

Do not listen to anonymous, she is obviously a homewrecker like these friends your wife has. You need to leave! Leave that wife of yours to God and time. It seems by what you said that this wife of yours was having an affair, an emotional or physical one at best. She sounds like she hates you from everything she has done, and does not love you. You deserve a loving partner who will prioritize you and not put non-factors over you and your children. Stop doubting yourself and leave. None of them deserved you, truly

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2023):

What is your job? How many hours per week do you work? What do you do around the home in the way of chores? If you say you are unemployed or only work a few hours a week but wife pays the bills then you can see why there would be hate and resentment and calling you a financial drain.

You sound like a very angry child, losing your temper on here as you write. Instead of looking at the reasons for things.

Like an adult does. People don't call you something without a reason even if it is unfair.

Why would friends talk to her and not you? There is a reason.

Face that reason and you have the answers to your questions.

It does not sound like a worthwhile relationship for either of you so why stay together?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2023):

test

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