A
female
age
36-40,
*ishdish
writes:I've had this guy friend for a couple of years. I thought there could have been something there feelings-wise, but I never pursued it because I had a boyfriend. We were very financially reliant on one another, we went in on a kiddie pool endeavor, he gave me a birthday present when he didnt give anyone else one, he offered to have me live with him when I thought things were over with my ex (we broke up a couple years after this offer so at the time I didn't take him up on it). well some of this seems petty but there was more. we parted ways (our job was only 1 year long, it was like the american version of peace corps)We talk every once in a while, about once every 3-6 months, just to catch up; I noticed around february that he said he missed me and closed his email love,[his name]. I felt like I couldn't really do anything about it but ignore it because i was in a relationship, but I broke up with my ex this summer, and I mentioned it to him because he knew the guy and i just wanted him to know what my status was (just to reach out to him for friend support, and maybe more too if that was an option..). When he said I should come visit him (he lives on an island for the peace corps right now) and signed it love again, I was just like what do you mean by this, you have to own it in either direction, love as a friend or love as something else. I tried to be playful but I think it came off as way more confrontational than I meant, I was trying to be light so it wouldn't be a big drama, but he wrote me a sort of offended sounded email, like I love as a friend, and do you want us to lose our friendship, do you need me to change my greeting, there are many degrees of love and mine is one of friendship. I said ok no i'm not mad I just was curious, I'm good, let's keep on keepin' on. but I sent him an email a little bit ago (at least a week, maybe two, ago) and I didn't get a response. do you think this was something you would break a friendship up over? I understand I guess it could be embarrassing if he thought I was thinking he was in love with me for a while, but I was pretty sure I was wrong and I just wanted to confirm I wasn't missing any signals. I guess my questions are 1) is this worth losing someone over? I felt like I needed to know so that I wasn't just ignoring real signals, and I probably should have been more tactful, but is his reaction excessive? 2) it sucks to think that even if his reaction was reasonable that everything has to be over, but it seems like this is his response..should I follow suit and just throw in the towel and accept I ruined this or is it salvageable and I should just give him time?
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (11 August 2011):
fishdish is verified as being by the original poster of the question well...I don't know if he even has a phone in cape verde, it's kind of remote?, but i get your point, thanks.
A
male
reader, aebniala  +, writes (9 August 2011):
Id say just call him and you shall find out. Dont forget and tell him you are availlage for love. But then he mite not be availlleble, still take the time and talk. Life is a learning curve.
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