A
female
age
36-40,
*eloved BV
writes:Hi,I don’t even know in what situation I am going through now. My name is Beloved (fake name) The year of 2011 was a great year for me for both in good and bad terms. Firstly when I say in good terms, it means I found a guy (25) of my dreams in the month of February 2011…I liked him so much that I forgot my world around me. He came from Dubai to India for a couple of months and during this time we went to new places and really did enjoy each others company. Secondly, when I say the year experience in bad terms, it means that in the same year i came to know that He (My Ex) is having a past with a Philippine woman of 36 year old. To be clearer, they were physically intimate. But I being blind in love said "It’s your past and I am not interested in it. All what matter to me are you (Ex) and your love." But I didn't know that he was cheating on my back. Being in committed relationship with me, he was also in relation with her. I was totally broken. But I thought that if I will inform that woman to know about me and him, she might understand my problem and would leave him as she is married already and is a mother of two or three children. Thing have a way out which I thought and it proved me wrong. When she knew about me… I predicted she was of not good term with him after that. I too thought that its time to end their illegal relationship… On the other hand our relationship was going calm and sweet.. But it is said well that when you throw a stone in a calm waters it will not be in a same state, there will be some disturbance and will cause waves.... Same was the case here... The point of doubt raised when on his birthday when I called him to wish right at 12… His cell came busy... I knew that it was she who called him from Dubai. And the time gave me the answer too... I was correct in my guessing. And from that day I was worn out in my pain and suffering of being cheated. It was around in December, 2011 that she uploaded in her fake Facebook account, a picture as her display picture in which my Ex was hugging her tight. It ruined me. I was shattered. That day I informed him that I came to know about their relation behind me. I withdrew myself from this relation with him. He tried to contact me and even her too. I hate him now for everything he did to me. He mocked at my love which considered pious and true. The heaven knows how I did love him. Though the period which I spent with him is of short span of 10 months approx, but it counted me of years.Now my problem is that the woman whom I introduced as my Ex’s girlfriend is sending me request from her fake accounts in facebook, Yahoo and all and trying to make me jealous by showing me his pictures with her as he (Ex) has returned to Dubai. She is very cunning and well played player in making love. She uses tricks on me to break me inch by inch. Frankly speaking, I’m feeling very depressed these days as she shattered my plan of getting married with him, whom I loved like anything. I don’t know what she wants from me now. She has taken my world and still she is unsatisfied and discontented. I hate this feeling of being alone and cheated. Did he love me when he was with me?? What should I do to forget this cheating?? Should I take revenge? Exactly what I must do to forget my first love?? Please Help…. From Broken Heart-Beloved BV
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depressed, facebook, jealous, my ex, period, player, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Beloved BV +, writes (18 May 2012):
Beloved BV is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello applebite8821, JaneSmith2012 and JessicaStarDust.... I sincerely thank each one of you for understanding my problem. Friends, I thank you all for taking out time from your busy schedule for me and thus read my critical problem. After reading your advices I feel happy that someone does think about me. Being strangers, somewhere we did shared same thoughts and feelings. applebite8821, my friend, I am really sorry to hear your life story. But by reading through your words I get a strong feeling that this situation which once happened to you has made you strong. Friend Am I correct regarding this?? If yes, I am happy for you. From you I may learn to become strong. Can you suggest me some more tips to overcome this betrayal and move on in my life as you did?JessicaStarDust, my friend, your question did hit my head like anything and made me to think half a day today………I really don't want such a jerk to be my kid's father and you are seriously true, if we patch up again, he will misuse my innocence of forgiving him and commit the same stuffs again, which I would not tolerate in any case. Thank you friend once again for your lovely advice.JaneSmith2012, my friend, thanks for your encouraging words. The day after my break up I am focusing my mind and using my time on making myself better and confident not only in my behavior but also in my looks. Concerning about yoga and meditation, I am going to give a try on both the two after my Post- Graduation exams get over. Thank you once again.Regards-Beloved BV
A
female
reader, applebite8821  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Hi, I really can relate to your situation right now. But I choose to respond to your post differently.You see, I used to work in Dubai and my sister is still there working. Like the girl that you described, my home country is Philippines. Take it from me, just let this guy go and move on. He cheated on you, period! It means he is weak and not trustworthy.This happened to me as well with my ex in UAE, he cheated on me with a girl from my home country who is married (and I am single!) At first, i couldn't accept it and i was depressed for months, my weight dropped drastically. To be honest, I cannot understand why some women have the nerve to be with a guy who is already in a relationship. This thing is normal in Dubai so don't think your situation is not normal.Just think of it this way, this lady no matter what she does will always be the loser, both her and your fiance. Nothing will happen out of their relationship. If I were you, the next time she adds you and you could see their pictures, tell her you will send their photos to her family especially to her husband in the Philippines.Good luck and dry your tears away.
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A
female
reader, JessicaStarDust +, writes (16 May 2012):
 I am very sorry to hear what you have gone threw. It is very hard to try to keep living when the ones that effected your happiness keep reappearing.W/the other women- She is just trying to make you feel bad, by "befriending" you. Which is VERY WRONG, you should keep ignoring her. DO NOT talk to her at all. Block her or start a new account (Facebook,Yahoo,etc) so she can not find you. The reason she is doing this is because she feels insecure w/(X-what I am naming him). So she will hunt down any info from you then throw it in your face afterwards. This women has dug her own grave. She is married and has a family. Leave her be. Her choices will soon come back to her and the karma of it will be enough.About you (X)- He played you, I am sorry. I hate to tell you that he NEVER loved you. He just LOVED having you there. The company of you. This guy is what give's the very few good guys out there a bad chance starting. Honey, This man is not who you would want to spend the rest of your life with and have children with. (Do you really want someone like this as a father to your kids?) I know it is hard moving on from a broken heart. BUT YOU MUST. If you do NOT and return to him in anyway he will know you will always be there for him on each mistake he makes. **If he has done this to you, he will do it again. Knowing how you will forgive him and take him back.**What you must do is each day get up, move forward not back. You will meet man who will want to treat you like heaven made you just for him. You deserve this, but you must be sure to know this. If you refuse or do not believe you will only except people who are worth nothing but the dirt on your shoes.Keep your chin up, You will find REAL LOVE.
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A
female
reader, JaneSmith2012  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 I can understand that kind of pain that you are going through and iam truly sorry for it ... You certainly derserve somebody better than this bigamous prick !!
As for that woman , she's just being too cheap ...
But tell me one thing , would'nt you have left this guy anyway , given that he's already with another woman , irrespective of what the other woman thinks of him ??
As for the woman ,she's already cheating on her family by being with this guy which shows that she lacks morals.. Thus its not surprising that she didnt break up with this guy when you told her of your relationship with him... Similarly the way she's behaving with you over the internet only goes on to show that she's another jerk (the first one being your ex) ...
Why do want to stoop down to the level of these two lowly creatures?? As far as the woman and your ex are concerned , preferably block them in FB ,mark their mail as trash. Also block their numbers on your mobile or change your number if you feel like it ... Bestest form of revenge is keeping your cool and show your indifference as all that these creatures want to do is to provoke you and gloat over it .. Why give them the opportunity ...
If that heartless woman who has done enough wrongs can be happy then why should you , who hasnt done anything wrong feel sad in the first place ???
Dont feel bad or sorrowful ..or worse dont be angry on yourself for letting this prick have his way with you ... Forgive yourself first and love yourself no matter where you are and how you are !! ....
You might feel taking revenge on both these specimens , but do restrain yourself ... lemme tell you there is no exception to the this rule (believe in this rule even if you dont beleive in god ):
The earth is round and therefore What goes around comes back ...Time takes care of it all ...
In the mean time figure out how best you can make use of your time ... Time is used effectively is the best healer but if you use it for reflecting over what has happened then it only make you feel hurt all the more ... If you are working , concentrate on your work . Hang out more with family and friends whenever possible (take some pics with them .. this will remind you that you are not alone in this world ) ... Devote your spare time to hobbies etc ... Your feelings will settle down gradually after some months ...Try yoga and meditation .. it really helps you to calm down ....
If you have any more queries ..we aunts are here for you anytime :) ..cheer up .. life is short to brood over such insignificant creatures... :) good luck
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