A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i suffer from depression, a hell of a lot more than i realised i found out today, i was on a hugxe downer after a row with my boyfriend, we spent the whole of the night partyin with friends and when i asked him for some alone timean hour or so, he said he was going out with his mates, i told him that i really phsyically need him here for me, as i cant stop crying ,my head is about to explode, i really need some support right now, he saw it as me being selfish and cruel cause i wanted him here with me and not to go with his mates,all i could feel was something building up inside me , i dont know what, just something really bad, i spent hours walking round in frustration crying my eyes out, i asked him again to come back cause i needed him , he againsaw this as unfair ,is there a difference between needing some one and just wanting some one there? i know ppl have suttle crys for help/attention, but i blatantly told him, i need his attention and i needed him there for support and comfort, but he refuses to come sit with me….. all i could think of was just cutting my wrists and even thought about lookin round my home for where i could hang myself from- really mature huh?! from what iv read on line , im suffering from sevre depression and i know i need medical help, im just too scared to do anything about it alone. iv not told my parents or fasmily , omly my boyfriend , and i know this isnt easy for him to deal with either, butam i wrong in pestering him to comfort me and help me sort my head out ?! i really cant cope with this anymore- and being alone to c ope with it makes it so much worse ….i dont think he knows/realises just how bad i am , i just dont know wot to do?!please please help , im really scared that i am gonna do something stupid, as everytime i have a depressive break down, it gets worse ………thakns in advance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (12 August 2009):
 to be honest you're probably not bothered by this because you knew what he was really like and are glad to be rid because he didn't exactly help you when you needed it most and you now know he's out your life for good i don't think you need to worry about having a breakdown over him to be honest i think you're well rid :) and picking up your life slowly and getting back onto the right track the right way :)
congratulations
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust thought id give you guys an update! iv had to stop taking my anti depressants as they were making me feel really anxious and a bit scatty- ill talk to my doctor about that, but i feel a hell of a lot better- i think i just had tooo much going on at once-....the thing that is worrying me quite a bit is that i was devastated when me and my 'boyfriend' split up , and i think that is what helped push me over the edge, but i ended up having a fool around with a mutual friend of ours, and i am kind of dating him now , but the actual thing that is puzzling me is ,my boyfriend told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, he didn't want to be in a relationship, he just wanted to be on his own, but days after us splitting up, he slept with a mutual friend also,and from what i know is dat8ing her, but when i found out - it really didn't bother me at all. it still doesn't now ...and its worrying me that i am just repressing how i feel and that ill just have another break down, or maybe that because of the breakdown i had and that i think he helped towards it happening (in my eyes he did) that i just really couldn't care less?! i am scared of waking up one day and thinking 'oh my god how could he do that to me' but i don't know if that will happen or not, or is it actually bothering me with out me realizing and that is why i am even writing about it lol! i am confused- i hope you guys aren't lol! xx thanks for your help and support ! :D xx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Glad everything is going better for you. When dating a boyfriend who is an ass, no matter what you do, he'll stay that way. There is someone out there that will truly be there just for you. But until you find that someone, keep working on yourself. The best relationships come from two people who are happy with who they are, and choose to share their happiness, instead of expecting a relationship to create a happiness that is not already there.
Please keep us updated. We look forward to hearing how you're doing, and if you need anything else, just ask. Take care.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (28 July 2009):
good for you! glad to see you're going down the right road :)keep me updated on your situation.x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers ,
the whole thing with my boyfriend is over.
he ignored any contact i tried to make, sent his sister round to talk to me , whilst texting her, though id been trying for the whole day n been getting ignored- so that really pushed me over the edge, and i did try to kill myself.
i got talking to an old friend online and we went up to the hospital and i had a talk,
im on antidepressants, i have 2 friends that io can tlak to about this
and im waiting for a call for a cousellign session ...
i knew i needed to do this , but i just thought it would all be with my boyfriend ...
guess he wasnt much of one after all hey?!
but thanks for your help -
i think just seeing from an outside point of veiw helped alot ! xx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 July 2009):
Depression can be difficult to deal with. Many of us have an element of depression to one extent or another. We feel alone, and distant from others. This is natural. What brings your depression to an unhealthy level is dependency. It's not unfair for wanting someone to spend time with you, and could be a bit selfish of his deciding to ignore your request. Without major depression most people wouldn't take this to the negative emotional level that you have.There is a difference between a need and a want. A need is basically mandatory, where a want is a desire. Without knowing more about your past, I can't pinpoint reasons for this depression to be at the level it is. It hurts being depressed. I know, I've been on medication now for going on 8 1/2 years. I started off with a higher dose, now I take a maintenance dose. I work with behaviors daily, and my mind still developed a chemical imbalance, leading to major depressive disorder. I would stop the medication to see if I'm in balance, but I like the way I feel now, and fear going back to how I felt before. I'm going to challenge you to seek medical help. If you have to go with someone, you are to tell someone you trust and request them to go with you. Do this immediately without thinking about it or coming up with reasons to justify not to. You need to do this because you wouldn't have posted your question if you wanted everything to remain the same. So, this needs done immediately. I want an update with you're seeking medical help. Take care.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (24 July 2009):
i think there is a difference in wanting someone there and needing someone there.needing you NEED them to sit with you and listen to what's going on in your head and wanting someone there is just to be there to hug you and cuddle you until you feel alright in the world again.your boyfriend is being a bit unfair i mean if he realised how bad you are maybe it'd kick him in the backside and make him realise you need help.you don't have to be alone in this situation why not talk to a doctor about what's going on perhaps he can refer you to an excellent counsellor then tell your boyfriend the details.your boyfriend on the other hand may feel you're piling all this onto him when you should involve family and friends as he does have a life of his own i'm not saying what he did was right or wrong but maybe he feels he can't cope seeing you the way you get perhaps it upsets him that he doesn't know what to do and if your family and friends are involved it's a load of his mind.i mean dealing with depression is one thing but then with only one person involved with the situation to help you is another you guys are both young and i'm sure he can't deal with this alone i mean what if it gets too much for him to cope with who will he turn too for help or to seek advice to help you?i mean you've not told your family or friends so he's got no-one really.what you need to do is talk to your parents or sister/brother etc whomever you trust highly because they'll be able to help you and help your boyfriend to help you and ease a load off his mind and when he needs help in takling to you or trying to calm you down he's got other people he can go too rather than trying to face it alone.definately talk to your family about what's going on and book an appointment with your GP and see what he recommends you. i'm certain they'll know a great therapist or counsellor that can help you back onto the road of recovery.Hope this helps :)chin up sweety x ilovebowsandcherries x
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