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female
age
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anonymous
writes:I am getting terribly depressed and although not suicidal. I keep getting very depressed because I am coming up to 60 years of age. No man will want me now I know that and cant help wondering what a bleak future. I know one doesnt have to have a man to be happy BUT the thought of not being fancied again is grim and I dont know how to stop these feelings.I love dancing and do go but men always go for the younger woman- any advice please
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your wise words I feel better already and a lot of what yous ay is true. Actjually I remember years ago when I was young there was a young man who said to me and my partner I know that lady over there is much older (she had a husband) but I think she is lovely-yes so your right. I also think a lot of it is peer pressure if a guy is with a group of guys all young they will pull his leg terribly and he would feel bad but when he is on his own.....Last year I went to the south coast with a friend and there was three blokes and one started to chat to me and said when are you moving down here ( in fun) I said I am niot retired yet he said I dont care how old you are when are you caring here so yes your right....Thank yous o muc appreciated
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 There are many women your age who are healthy, (mentally and physically) and who have kept themselves in good shape in the way they dress and use appropriate makeup, hairstyle, etc. Attitude is VERY important. If you are kind, and tend to smile at people, making them feel welcome and listened to when talking to them, those are attractive qualities. Plus having a variety of interests and being able to hold an intelligent conversation.As for men, well, some of the 60 plus ones can be very attractive whereas others appear quite a good bit older.....I was watching the Civil War on PBS this week and was surprised to learn that Shelby Foote who appeared on the program in the 90's was 74 at the time. I would have guessed his age to be no more than 64!In short, don't be discouraged - but also don't come across as desperate.......Eddie85 has some good suggestions......
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 April 2011):
 It sounds like you are going through a change right now and rightfully so. Turning 60 is a mile marker in one's life and while I agree, generally men are interested in younger women, it won't stop them from finding someone who is alive and wants to do things.
It sounds like you need a new lease on life. Get out and hit the gym, look for opportunities within your church or other social organizations that you belong to. You may also want to look at some dating sites to see if they would work for you. Stick with the reputable ones, however.
I also think that men are attracted to women with confidence. If you come off as a "mope" and "depressed", you'll tend to be avoided.
There are plenty of guys your age that are dying to meet. Be sure you have things going on in your life that make you interesting. Also, do your best to make yourself attractive -- I hate to break it to you, but guys tend to be fairly visual in terms of initial attraction.
Finally, be patient. The dating / single scene isn't easy, so take it one day at a time.
You may also want to read "Terms of Endearment" by Larry McMurtry. It's fiction but might apply to you. You may also want to look at the local book store to see if anything in the self-help section works for you.
Good luck!
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female
reader, without_reason +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Age is inevitable - it's going to happen, and you have to face it and embrace it. These days 60 isn't even old so there's no point worrying about age.As for the men, I'm sure those that go for the younger ones aren't worthy of you and you should ignore those and enjoy your dancing and maybe take up new hobbies as well. As like you said, you don't need a man to be happy. Don't look for a man, and the right one will come when you least expect it and will love you for who you are. I believe there are men out there worrying about the same things you are that the women are going for younger men!Regards :)
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male
reader, inhibited +, writes (9 April 2011):
 It sounds like you have real self esteem issues. 60 is the new 40 my dear. Why do you think no man would want you now? I am 30 and I find older women attractive I think Anne Robinson in stunning and when she winks at the end of weakest link bad stuff happens. I know other blokes my age who feel the same way. ;)I live and work on the south coast of the UK visiting elderly people’s homes sometimes and I know for a fact there are a lot of older men who are lonely. If you are going out and meeting new people at dancing then you're halfway there because you have a portal to meet men. Is there any mileage in joining and paying for a dating site or two everyone does it these days? Life is too short to be sad unnecessarily but you have to grab things by the horns.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There must be some guys your age who'd show an interest it's just the luck of finding em and don't think too harshly when men look at younger women it's natures way of ensuring seeds are best sown, it's nothing personal sorry if that sounded terrible. Do you seek long term companionship or something more physical or both? Could you be more flirtatious? Could you wear dresses a couple inches shorter or heels a couple inches higher? There's nothing slutty about it a gal needs to feel attractive and wanted. Feel empowered. Do you go to dancing with a group of girls? Some guys may be intimidated to pick you out amongst a gaggle of girls.Food for thought. I'm here for you anytime.
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female
reader, moon river +, writes (9 April 2011):
 It is bound to be partly confidence as well, if you outshine the younger girls with big smiles and confidence you will get noticed in a good way! I always think doing excersise like yoga is the best way to improve mental health as well as meet new people, who knows, maybe a guy ;)
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (9 April 2011):
I know there is a social stigma attached to taking anti depressant pills but they do work for helping with the blues becuase it helps to restore the chemical imbalances in your body. also research has shown depression is a marker for wider mental health issues, so you need to see a doctor before it escalates into wider issues. If I were you I'd advertise for a man to go to the dancing with, that way you've got a partner. Can you go online and find a similarly interested man?BTW - taking those pills has no effects on your normal functioning, I still exercise, work, enjoy life - it just helps to reduce those days when you over think everything and depression sets in. I've been heaps happier since I started on them - 2 months now. Planning to go off after winter.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Am sure there are still men out there who prefers women of their age. The most important thing to do is to look after your appearance. Make sure you look clean and tidy always and your hair neatly in place. Your face fresh and you smell nice. Don't dress like a teenager and don't dress like a granny either.! be trendy and outgoing.Am sure you will be fending off men soon. Goodluck!
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