A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I believe i was abused when i was very young by my father. I am still a virgin because I choose to be but I wonder why I am not really interested in having sex. I am scared that what happened when I was little(eventhough I cannot remember it because I was little) is effecting my life as an adult. is there any hope for me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): hey hun, i'd just like to say anyone who says a past of abuse will hold you down is talking out their ass.W.Axl Rose (guns n roses lead singer, dunno if your into that kinda music but yaknow) was sexually abused very badly at a very young age, and beaten in his teens. and he went on to be one of the most successful people ever!and also, just to prove it doesnt only work for celebrities, my own father was sexually abused as a kid. and he is the strongest guy I know.anyways hun my point is no matter what happened to you in the past, it's what you do with what you have right now that counts. and who cares if your not that interested in sex! better than bein some slut!good luck x =]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Let me tell you this. I was molested when I was younger by two females who held me down. At first I did not remember it. I just remembered me and my mom looking for where the abusers lived. I also went to the emergency room, because I was experiencing pain down there after what had happened.
I started seeing a therapist and talking about what I was told happened to me, and one night I had a nightmare that it was happening again!!! This is what is known as a flashback!!!! It came back to my memory, because I had been talking about it with someone.
Sometimes our subconscious represses things for us that it feels that we are not ready to remember yet.
I was also raped when I was younger by a male.
Today I was feeling like I never wanted to have sex ever in my life. Period. But I just don't know.
Here's my advice: Find a man who doesn't make a big deal about sex. He may say it's important to him, but ask him this: If we never had sex in marriage, would you be okay with it, and not cheat on me?
I'm not saying that you need a man to be happy, but I'm saying that if you want to marry someone, before choosing partners, find someone that would never cheat on you, regardless of whether you had sex or not, because he LOVES you. Someone who won't hold it against you, just because you won't have sex with him.
And people will tell you stupid stuff like "Oh you say that now, but in the future you will want sex." They don't know you, so how can they say this???
Anyways, I wouldn't stress, but I would go to therapy to clear some issues up if I were you.
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A
female
reader, Cosy  +, writes (17 March 2008):
I sort of know how you feel.
I was abused by my brother and cousin, and I worry it means I'm not that interested in sex. My last boyfriend of a year and a half constantly complained that i wasn't affectionate enough and it made things very difficult because I would never tell anyone about these experiences. For me, they are things that happened but that will not rule my life, thus I don't want to dwell on them,, but I'm worried that they have a 'subconscious' effect on me in relationships. If yu can, talk to your family ( its easy to say, i have no intention of ever doing this) or anonymously to someone. If you find out what you fear is true then it will be easier to deal with than the 'unsure' and hopefully you can find someone who loves you enough to overlook it.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Have you tried to talk to your mother about this? Do you recall anything in the episode(s) that triggers this type of behavior OR is there something that he's doing now that triggers it?
I would seek counseling to get this out in the open and ease your mind so you can go on with your life. Best of luck. Gena
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Darling,
How do you know that something happened to you while you were young. You need to get to the bottom of what's put this in your head to start with.
XXX
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