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anonymous
writes: I don't like making small talk and more often than not can't think of things to say. This is making dating hard. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2005): hehe,i had a women who dumped me cause i didnt talk politics lmao!!What self respecting women,talks politics? That was the most ridiculous thing i ever heard. The funny thing is too,that she never once mentioned politics,just went on the assumption that i wasnt interested in it. She was right,but how lame is that?I hate small talk also. You can only talk about yourself and them so many times. I talk when i have to or when something intersts me,i cant force myself to be phony and talk about crap thats uninteresting,just for the sake of doing so and to impress the other person. I'm dating a deaf mute next time.
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reader, Shane +, writes (6 June 2005):
Hey mate,Small talk sucks, doesn't it? Some cynics say that small talk is what people use to fool the opposite sex into thinking that they're desirable. It's inane and formulaic, but, unfortunately it's necessary.However, small talk can basically be about anything. Some (boring) people will ask questions like "what's your favourite colour, or if you were an animal what one would you be?" Can you swear on this website?? Cause all of a sudden I really wanna.It's important to realise that you don't necessarily have to contrive a conversation around these boring and really really annoying topics. Talk to her as another human being, not as a woman. If she likes Emily Dickenson and you hate her, tell her she's a misguided little person. Don't worry too much about what they think of you, and don't adjust your answers too much to please them. Have a bit of integrity.You can talk about just about anything, the one prerequisite would be that they could concievably have some interest in it. Sports are generally out, unless you reguarly participate in one. They deserve to be warned...Talk about your favourite t.v. shows, your friends, your favourite bands and any musical instruments you play. Be honest. Tell her Britney Spears sucks (but not that you still would...you know...her) Computer games are probably another no no, unless she brings them up of course.It's not hard man. Stay fluid, go where the conversation takes you, and while you shouldn't be aggressive or belittle their views and opinions, don't be afraid to tell them you think differently. Apparently they respect that.Best of luck!
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reader, irishcurlysue +, writes (6 June 2005):
You are thinking about it too much! Just be yourself when you're on a date. Remember your date is probably as nervous as you. Start by asking your date about themselves e.g. what they like to do in their spare time, about their family etc. People like to be asked about themselves and it will a show that you are genuinely interested about them and will make them opem up to you as well as making you feel as ease. If conversation is still difficult, maybe that person isn't right for you. When you meet someone you click with, conversation will flow and you won't even think about what to say! Good luck!
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):
 There are alot of things that I don't like to do, but if I am determined enough not to let myself get in the way, I change those things about myself. You, my dear, will have to do the same if you want to court the ladies. First, stop referring to it as "small talk". In order to get to know the lady you have to talk about yourself and your likes. It's called the very human trait of communication. Some do it better than others, but we all do it regardless. So zap that phrase out of your vocabulary and get out there and meet some pretty ladies. Believe me, we pay attention to a guy who speaks honestly and if you have a comical side even better! Best of luck to you!
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (5 June 2005):
 Try porn, it's cheaper than dating.Seriously though, if you want to date, you'll have to learn to be able to chat to people. Don't put the pressure on yourself to go out and chat up women, just go out and chat to people, the rest will come to you soon enough.
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