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Dating a girl with a child, what do people think about it?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 July 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2011)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I need to know,what are peoples views on girls/women with children.What do guys think about it,is it something guys would go for,or stay away from,also what are the statistics, and societys perception of it.Also give reasons as to why or why you would not date a girl with a child.Thanx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011):

To the anonymous woman at the bottom of the response column. Thank you for that sweeping generalisation of men who, for whatever reason, do not wish to date someone with children. It doesn't mean we are selfish or immature. Maybe we've been bitten by previous single mums who HAVE seen us a meal ticket. Or have had so many dealings with the child's father that we come third in the relationship. Or maybe when we want to settle down and have kids we want to be a family unit rather than a step-family unit. Or maybe we simply don't want kids full stop. Yes, we all must be immature.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011):

I was once a woman with a child, I didn't find that many problems getting a date, yes there was the odd guy that thought you were just an easy lay. Funny enough I didn't make the baby on my own, but most women don't seem to worry about dating the other half of the union.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (13 July 2011):

Hi there. The men who might balk at it, might be the insecure ones who make an assumption that the girl is just looking for a father for her child or children.

If a man is secure and confident about himself, it probably wouldn't be a big deal - well not unless he has a life that is out of control already.

By that I mean, a man who doesn't handle responsibility for his own life, can't handle his money, panics when things goes wrong and feels his life is out of control. Or a man who takes drugs to handle his problems.

You wouldn't want to be involved with a man like that in any case.

But on the other hand, a man who is mature in his general attitude towards life and nothing is a problem to him, and takes everything in his stride, now that's a man who would make a good partner for both you and your child.

Also, a man who is sincere, genuinely interested in people, cares about everyone, is kind and generous and considerate, would be a man who would be valued by any woman on the planet.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (13 July 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntMeh, its definitely something that needs a bit of mulling over for youngish guys... The main things that I've learned so far having been dating a single mum for a while now is that you both just have to take things slowly, delicately and more responsibly than you normally would.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2011):

angelDlite agony auntit depends on what sort of mother she is. if she is a good mum she will not be available to see you whenever you want unless she has a childminder, the child will always take first place in her affection/attention. she may or may not want to have more children - you will need to discuss this before you get too involved with her if you think it may become an issue in the future. the woman will expect/appreciate it if you are good with her child and you welcome that child into your life, if you just want the woman but not her kid - the relationship won't work.

if she is a not so good mum, she will give you more time and attention, maybe even more than she gives to the child - but if she is this sort of person - would you really want a relationship with her?

i am a single mum and i can tell you that it makes dating a LOT more difficult than before i had my son, the time i can give to the relationship is a lot more restricted

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011):

I am a single mother of one child and a lot of BOYS do discriminate. I feel they only do us women a favour because we can then seperate the immature boys from the mature men.

Any male who would steer clear of a woman because she has kids really isn't worth the second thought. There's so many couple having children and splitting up nowadays that its almost impossible to find the perfect woman with no baggage.

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