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female
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*londie10
writes: The guy I am with right now used to be one of my closest guy friends and then I decided to give a relationship a try. But now I am having second thoughts. He's always around me and hanging on me all the time. Also, when he holds on to me I get the feeling like "you're my friend, this shouldn't be happening" Do you think I should stay with him or break it off?? Reply to this Question
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reader, Christie +, writes (10 September 2005):
I think you should be completely honest because in the long run, it will hurt him less. It's hard to say what you should do exactly, but you obviously want different things to come from your relationship and you are clearly not comfortable and happy, so you should follow your heart.
He will respect your honesty more than trying to see it through to the end where you may both end up getting hurt. Good luck.
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (9 September 2005):
I think you need to speak to him first of all. It seems as though you both have different expectations of the relationship. He is obviously smitten and wants to spend every minute of every day with you! However, this isn't suiting you, and perhaps this may be the reason that you are not feeling sexually attracted to him, because he is smothering you?
If you can come to a compromise over how much you see of each other, and try dating that way. It may work. Failing that, it may simply be that although you have an amazing connection as friends, you are unable to forge a sexual relationship with this person. If this is case, it's important that you break it off as gently and as quickly as possible to limit the hurt you will cause. Plus you may also be able to salvage the friendship this way. If you cannot truly see yourself being with him in that manner, your friendship will stand a better chance of succeeding if you do the honourable thing and end it as soon as possible.
Good luck!
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