A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I went on a date last week with a guy I met online. We got on well, but after a few hours he said he had to leave to go to a friend's party. He asked me if I was free the next week to go for another drink. I said yes, we arranged to meet on a specific day and before we said goodbye he kissed me.When the day came for our next date I texted him to ask if it was still happening, and got no reply.Why would he not reply to my text?I will never understand men...
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female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (18 May 2013):
Dear OP,
Forget him. If a guy really wants to see you again, he'll let you know. Whatever made him change his mind.. it doesn't really matter. There are plenty of (nicer) fish in the sea.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2013): You met up and had a drink, in that time both of you had to decide if it is going to lead to a second date. It's hard to say 'I don't think I want to see you again' so people make these limp excuses. I wouldn't take it too personally. When meeting up with people you are not going to hit the jackpot every time by any means. Sometimes it may be you who thinks 'he's nice but not for me'. So give this date no further thought, it's just the way things go sometimes.
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A
female
reader, Martine +, writes (17 May 2013):
His loss. Don't worry about it. He's a d**k.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 May 2013):
I agree. He's a flake. Best to chalk it up to the experience many of us have when it's not us who decides we're not interested in someone we go on a date with. Sometimes the choice is ours, sometimes theirs.
Don't take it personally. It could have simply been that he met someone else, and that's not reflective of any deficiency you have any more than it's the shoes' fault that we see another pair of shoes to buy instead.
Shake it off. Your match is coming!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 May 2013):
Hi
Sorry but it sounds like he has or is meeting somebody else, that's the thing with online dating.
I would write him off, it was just a meet n greet drink, now you know he's unreliable, a flake or a coward.
If he contacts you in a couple of weeks, ignore him.
You will kiss plenty of frogs along the way.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 May 2013):
Look, more often than not men are cowards, so instead of telling the truth they find it easier to lie to your face when they are blowing you off instead of simply saying 'sorry I'm not that interested in you, really sorry but I dont want to see you again'.
Now I'm not man-bashing, I'm sure there are plenty of cowardly women out there too - but this is just part of what happens when you are dating. I have had men who I've been seeing for a month, who have been talking about arranging to meet each others parents etc all of a sudden disappear on me without a word never to be contacted again. I have no idea what changed, I mean we'd seen each other frequently (about 2 or 3 times a week) every week for 5 weeks - but for whatever reason something happened one Saturday and at that point he thought instead of telling me why he didnt want to see me anymore he'd vanish and never speak to me again. So its happened to all of us, I promise!
Yes it sucks, and it is infuriating, but as I said, it is part and parcel of dating. He clearly decided he wasnt interested in you when he was on the date (if he really liked you he wouldnt have left, party or no party) but rather than tell you he wasnt interested he thought he'd be nice by saying 'lets arrange another date' yet he had no intentions of ever keeping to that plan. A lot of people find it hard to reject someone face to face, so it was easier for him to give you false hope about another date than it was for him to tell the truth.
Forget about him, and move on. You will have to endure these cowards and jerks when you are dating before you find a decent guy, but you will find a good guy one day I'm sure.
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