A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my husband for 13 years. We have twin 9-yr-olds and my 17-yr-old from my previous marriage. Over the years we have had many fights. His favorite thing to do over the last 3 years during our fights is threaten our marriage being over until I cry uncontrollably. He yells and hangs up on me, won't answer his phone. This happens if I say something he doesn't want to hear. He screams and yells at me all the time over any little thing. Basically I have to walk on eggshells and kiss his ass for us to get along. I'm so tired of it. The other day he was going out of town to work for a few days and he wanted to spend a little time together in bed, you know what I mean. Immediately afterwards he jumps out of bed gets dressed and says bye! He left within 10 minutes. I was still lying in bed in shock that he did that to me! I of course began crying which made him angry so he left yelling. He seems to love making me cry. While he was out of town and we would speak on the phone he was short with me, ugly, rude and hung up on me at various times saying he was tired. He claimed he was going to get some supper at a place that I know is a night club. I told him it was a club and he said, "I'll do what I want to do and you deal with it!" I said ok whatever and then he of course hung up on me. He never went there or intended on going there but only wanted to tell me that to upset me. I stay home with our kids. He screams at me over his work phone in front of all his co-workers and in front of our kids. Talks bad about me in front of anyone that will listen. I've been very good to him for many years but he's an ass to me and I'm tired of crying and being a cry baby at my age. I can't help myself, he's so mean to me it breaks my heart. I love him and he uses that to upset me. How do I turn the tables on his games. He needs to cry a while and see how it feels. It may be over for us after all this. I can't take it anymore. If I can find a way to change the course then maybe it'll work for our marriage. Do you have any ideas for putting it back on him what he does to me?
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male
reader, wildman +, writes (2 April 2008):
 If I were you I would leave him for two weeks and not answer the phone but about once or twice. My wife did that to me and it was devastating. It showed me what it would be like to be alone, bad.
Good luck sweetie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): There is much more to this then is being revealed. Yes it sounds like he is being abusive, but what led to this?
We are human, if we are mistreated, we react. Men react verbally and physically: this is all they know. Some women react verbally to, words that pierce a mans heart. Some women also become silent, refusing to communicate and instead drop the ball on their man's shoulder to figure it out. Problem with this, is men can't read minds.
There is more going on here. You need to work backwards to begin revealing this and finding the problems and answers. He didn't become like this over night, he was coached over the years.
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A
female
reader, Cindy303 +, writes (31 March 2008):
 It sounds like this husband of yours is one step short of being physically abusive to you. If he yells at you and treats you so horribly until you cry, that is not love. That is abuse. After 13 years and children its hard to make the move to leave, but I think that at this point, you need to make that first step and start the seperation and then divorce. I dont see the love here. I dont see happiness or honesty or anything else but misery and pain. No person who loves you treats you this way. To make you cry on purpose. You need to get out of this marriage before things get worse, and they will get worse. Best of luck to you. Cindy
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A
female
reader, Tanyas247 +, writes (30 March 2008):
 Your husband sounds like he is abusive. I would remove myself from him immediately. For him to yell so much and think he can control you (which is what this is all about), it's not a far reach to physical abuse. You need to shape up and ship out. Pack the kids up and leave for a family member's house. Your 17-year old can stay with a friend, likely. Just remember that it does not get better from here if you stay.
Best to you. It will be a long process, but you must be strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): why in the world do you love this horrible guy !!! he obviously doen't feel the same about you . You deserve someone much better. No one has the right to d owhat he does to you . It;s not fair and it's not right !!!! Leave him hunny you will be so better off .Your children doen't deserve this either . this could hurt you and them for a long time . the sooner you leave him the better .....
I hope I helped you . And I hope everyhitng works out for you
good luck and take care
*~VG~*
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Why do you love him? Which one of you is the sick one in this relationship? When i read it the first time i thought it was him, now i am not so sure! For you to respond to him the way that he wants you to and then you say you love him and then you are still with him. Sorry, but i think you are the sick one. Get him out of your life and run like hell.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Next time he says "I'll do what I want to do and you deal with it" what you need to do is say "fine baby, of course I will" then pack his bags, change the locks and get him out of your life. I understand that at the moment you want revenge but the best revenge you could ever have is by dumping his sorry ass and going on to live an exciting life without having to deal with such a horrible man. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and your feelings not someone who is essentially a selfish bully. Also, think about the impact this will be having on your children. No child should hear their father abuse their mother in this way - it could be very damaging in the long term.Good luck!
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