A
female
age
36-40,
*ightning_bolt
writes:I work at a daycare apart of a company. I've been there for about 2 1/2 years. I used to work in a toddler room called "Shining Butterflies" and there was a Dad there named Rick. I took care of his daughter and learned he was from Scotland and everytime I would see him, my heart would go up and I would blush and get sweaty. Luckily, eventually his daughter moved up to Pre-School and I didn't have to deal with those feelings. A year went by, and his wife got pregnant again, and now his son who is 19 months years old is in my new toddler class. I thought I was over the crush, but those feelings are beginning to come back. I get nervous and shy around him and can barely talk. I think he notices too, and sometimes get the feeling he likes me, because he compliments me and is so nice. His wife is a jerk, and I wonder if he ever has the same feelings for me? Also this is terrible because I'm in a relationship already and feel like my feelings for him and fantasies of the dad are getting worse. Please Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (13 March 2011):
 Relax, no one can read your mind. When you blush and stammer around him, he might just think you are shy. Unless you have told him, he has no way of knowing how you really feel.
My advice is not to let on, even if you think his wife is a jerk. The reason? This could have disastrous consequences for you. This couple if paying the daycare facility a lot of money to watch their children. If you make the husband or wife uncomfortable, they may complain. If they complain you are very likely to get fired, so mum's the word.
I don't think it is unusual to find someone attractive for as long as you have. He sounds very handsome and he has that accent...but he is married. No matter what his wife is like, he chose to marry her and then went on to have two children with her. You must try to stop wondering if he has feelings for you. Assume he does not.
If you act on these feelings the only one that will get hurt is you. Turn your attention to your boyfriend.
A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 This situation happens to most of us, at one time or another.What you have to ask yourself is, "If I pursue him,what would I be gaining, and, what would I be destroying"?If your thinking rationally, and not with your hormones,I believe you'll find the destruction far outweighs any gains you might find!If he where to accept your advances, you would be destroying a marriage, taking a husband away from his wife,a father from his children, and hurting the man you already have in your life!Some will hate you, and others, resent you.Depending on company policy, you may even loose your job!You'll also have to live with this thought in the back of your mind. "If I could so easily get him away from his wife and family, could the same happen to me, further down the road"?All this devastation, for what could possibly be, nothing more than fantasy fulfilment and momentary lust?Give your head a shake... some things are just NOT meant to be!
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