A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i need some advice.um 16, Well i m wid dis gal for 18months,she s 15.she was molested by her cousin when she was 11.that cousin apologized to her after some day. Now da boy is back.i hate him like anything.now he s doing things to impress my gf, he s 19 n ugly. He said he loves her(my gf) n is sorry for his deeds. Dat guy is after her like hell,tryin to prove dat he loves my gal. My gf has forgiven her cousin. And have a soft corner for her cousin. Is there any chance that she might leave me for her cousin. Um tensed cause her cousin really seems to care about her a lot and shows that . Shall i talk to my gf? Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy problem is , he is not only wanting to be a cousin. He s flirting, he said to her frenz which r also my friend that he loves her now. And want a serious relation. And to make things worse in my country a cousin cousin relationship is not banned and even popular. I hate him.
A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 She does need help dealing with it but if she is willing to forgive him and he is after nothing more then friendship and family wise then you need to back up and let them be . Now if it was more then just friends or family and he wanted more then you would have the right to step in. No it wasnt right for what he did but he was young and probably knew right from wrong and now realizes what he did was very wrong and has said he was sorry so just see what he is wanting if he is sincere and just wants his cousin to be his cousin then let her be the judge on whether or not he she wants anything to do with him..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): What the heck? That's sounds crazy! I have heard that sometimes people for some strange reason, end up drawn to people that's abused them! Maybe there's a lot more to the story than she's admitted. She may just be afraid to share everything with you right now. Ask her what's going on!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Yes she needs help dealing with what happened. Being molested is not something you "just" get over. She truly needs help. find a hot-line for her to call.
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A
female
reader, vamp-gal  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Heyy,
How come the police weren't notified when this happened? Sorry, but just because it's family, doesn't mean he shouldn't pay for what he's done.
Also, I don't think you should have a problem with her cousin and her, he's family, she may have a soft spot for him, but it could be because he's family.
I do think you should talk to her, and express your worries, get it off your chest. And if you speak to her, she will tell you the truth, and set you straight about her feelings for him, which I think would be family...but that's for her to tell you, I'm trying not sound bias one way or another here, so sorry for the conflicting message.
Either way, talk to your girlfriend, it is understandable why you feel hatred towards this guy, and may feel threatened, and the only way to deal with it, is by talking.
Good Luck, hope everything turns out okay.
Hope this helps.
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