A
male
age
36-40,
*oooldforthis
writes:So had a really awesome first date with a very pretty girl that I met online last night. Honestly a little out of my league, but I am very into her. I'm just being real here that I am fit, have a great job, witty, confident, etc... but I am balding which isn't really my most attractive quality that I can't really do anything about and get really self conscious.I thought it went pretty well, she was friendly, had a lot in common, but honestly I think she was expecting someone else.We got along great, ended the night with a kiss (just small peck) and she said she would call me when she gets back from a trip next week.Now, would it weird for me to send a text saying happy Thanksgiving! and some other stuff tomorrow? Or should I just lay low and have some faith that she'd actually call me? I'm afraid that too much time will pass without contact next week and momentum will be lost.... also don't want to seem desperate haha lil help?
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male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (27 November 2011):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, and yeah I definitely try to portray myself as honestly as possible, but of course I'm not going to put up a crappy picture of myself... I do look like a have a lot of hair in pictures, but in real life and up close... not so much.
I don't know, it's been difficult for my self perception and a lot of the reason why I have some reluctant tendencies to approach women. I am actually quite confident though (or used to be), and my friends who are girls think I could get a lot of women... but it's just discouraging because obviously these girl friends aren't interested, as I've recently been relegated to the friend zone with one I deeply care about; met her today for coffee for the first time in a while, pretty effing painful... as well as these girls who I go on 1-3 successful dates then never hear from them again.... I really am not sure what the issue is.
Anyways, I sent that text on thanksgiving - she replied the same day just wishing the same, haven't heard or spoken to her since. Going to call her next weekend, hoping for the best, but planning for the worst right now.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Maybe you should update your profile pics with the current ones. So you can't be accused of false in advertising :)
She might be not bothered at all by your hair or lack of the same, but she ( or another girl ) might be bothered by your attempt of portraying yourself as different from what you are in order to " catch " a date.
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A
male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (25 November 2011):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah that's true... thanks for the reply.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): You are so nice! You should have more confidence in yourself. Look loads of guys will go bald before they are 40 anyway.
Take a risk if you like the girl and so what if she is not interested anymore, you can more on and that only means you are one step closer to finding the person thats right for you and I am sure you won't be on the market too long.
Hope it works out for you.
Good luck.x
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A
male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (24 November 2011):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies everyone.
Yeah I'll send her a very brief text today, sometime this afternoon... Nothing to lose, but I really don't want to mess this one up haha. Don't want to jump the gun on things and seem like I'm WAY into her, but I kind of am. I am definitely over thinking this for whatever reason, but ya, I like her right now more so than anyone I've met in a long time which Is why I'm playing it close to the chest.
I am not so sure why I've been so self conscious about my balding thing, but it's something I definitely don't like about myself. The thing about it is that I've never really had a successful relationship for more than a few weeks in the last girl I dated, and before that I was going out with for a very long time who eventually only considered me as a friend and nothing else, which was tough... I feel that physical attractiveness however superficial is important to a lot of women, and this a "flaw" that is probably the first thing people notice about me. I know it's weird, but at 26 I honestly feel like it's been the biggest hinderance for why things have never really launched for me.
My profile pics online are pretty much a "greatest hits" album with pics that I didn't modify or photoshop at all... but I definitely look like I have more hair than I actually do in a lot of them haha
Anywho, sorry for the long response over something that shouldn't be a big deal, but thanks again for the responses! Happy thanksgiving!! Have a good time out there with family and friends.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Hi,
So far, so good. You have nothing to worry about....
Definitely send her a message:
* wish her happy thanksgiving
* wish her a good trip
* tell her you had a great time meeting her
* looking forward to see her when she comes back
Be casual, and send her a short message. You don't want to be too aggressive in the beginning. But, it's important to let her know how you feel.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 November 2011):
Don't worry about the balding thing--you and many other guys are balding, it's pretty common. What made you think she was expecting someone else?
I think it's okay to send her a text saying something like "Happy Thanksgiving." It's a holiday and she'll know you're into her but I don't think you should say much else because then it would seem that you are WAY into her. To sum it up, it's not weird to tell her Happy Thanksgiving but don't get much deeper than that since she said she'd call you when she gets back from her trip...which to me is a little odd in my opinon but whatever.
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