A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Thanks for taking the time to help.Ok so at my center of work there's a woman who fancy's me, I think... I am woman and I have only been with men, the thought of another woman turns me on but I have never acted on it.. I am dating a nice fellow who works at the center as well. I am completely open to him on my fantiseies and he is the same with me.. Before I dated him he pointed out the she likes me.. I only know she and I have a connection, she purposly does things to turn me on, and she always wants my attention. As a fact item our coworkers have noticed this and they have approached me, and have said things like is she training you in the areas outside of work, how is she type stuff. She was training me for accounting several weeks ago but she was was mean - then nice -then mean -then nice.. I never know who I was getting.. WE kinda talked and she told me I was pretty and I look like a poplar actress and I had her lips(actress). Earlier that day we were talking about lesbians and I beated round the bush I had a connection with her - I think she got what I said because she said she felt the same with acouple close people (we were the only people there). It was how she said it - plus she knows Im really shy, I don't open up easy.. All that week she kept asking me if there was somthing I wanted to talk about.. I kept saying no.. When traing was about done she jumped down my throat and I snapped back - I was tired of the nice, mean, nice, mean stuff she not like that normally.. She ate lunch out in her car and I ate lunch in the cafatera.. I thought she was pissed so that friday I txt her thanking her for her help, and told her I was sorry I made her mad- she thought I was mad at her... That Monday following I was thinking about her when she poped up from her cubical she looked at my cubical and did this cute flutterly glace up and down.( she got real happy ) Well my coworker was watching us as well- so before the girl I liked came up to me I turned and started to talk to my coworker to cover it up... Since then the girl I like been avoiding me.. She fixed a problem I did at work so I bought a mocha and asked a coworker to give it to her.. Later maybe about 10 mins later my phone rang. I was on the other line - it was a direct call frm in house (has diffreant ring) I could not pick it up in time - later when i checked my messages - There was a message - of just blankness for a bit then they hung up... I think it was her... What do I do, I am really shy I don't want to get hurt or hurt her, Do I openly tell her I like her?I want to show her how I feel and somtimes I feel my wall goes up because I am scared she will hurt me..Thanks a bunch any advice is better than were I stand at this point..
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at work, co-worker, lesbian, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, charlie p  +, writes (5 October 2009):
I'd like to very respectfully disagree with the poster who advised you to not persue a homosexual relationship in order to avoid complications.
It's an entirely new, and quite possibly wonderful, side to life that you have not experienced, yet are in the very rare position to do so. I have heard that lesbian sex is in some ways better than when you sleep with a man, as another woman has a far more accurate idea of how to please you! Life is already complicated with all of the little problems that constitute the day to day, why not have a little bit more complication which is a positive influence?
I do, however, agree somewhat with the idea that possibly the office isn't the ideal place. Office romances do, however, work out...you are in one right now!!!
Essentially, my point is that although the poster I disagree with had a valid argument, it's not so simple as writing it off as a bad idea.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Office romances seldom end well, and usually are a train wreck. If you're interested in trying a woman, why not look outside the place where you earn your livelyhood. If she quits (or you do), then pursue her, but think long and hard before you try an inter-office romance. If she's not interested and talks, your screwed...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): It's never smart to get involved with anyone from work.
And why would you want to screw up your life by heading into a lifestyle that only makes problems for you? I respect gays being gay, but their lives are completely more complicated - explaining to the family, overcoming hostility of people who think homosexuality is a sin, and on and on. If you're already hetero, and you have a history of being hetero, no point in asking for trouble #1, which is dating someone from work, or trouble #2, arbitrarily deciding you want a gay relationship. Life is complicated enough. Don't complicate it even more. You seem like a nice person and deserve better.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (4 October 2009):
 Talk to her, get to know her, spend time with her. Show that you care and when you feel ready open up to her. The sooner you tell her how you feel the better.
I hope things work out for you.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, charlie p +, writes (4 October 2009):
Well, this depends. From what I've heard it does sound like she is attracted to you. You mention that you are dating a man at your work, would he mind if you made a move on another woman?Let's assume from this point that there is mutual attraction (and it certainly sounds that way), and that your fella is comfortable with it. It's possible then to go ahead and experiment, but maybe don't do anything in the office. Ask her to go for a drink on friday night, just the two of you, if you have the confidence you can tell her you're asking her out, but if you don't it's not a problem. When you're out together make your move. Be ready to do this...you may not be albe to rely on her to do so, as she may not be as sure as you are that there is mutual attraction. You also, I assume, aren't used to making the first move as it's traditionally the man's perogative. Then nature will take its course! P.s, as a man I can tell you that in my experience the best first move is made when dancing with a girl, so take that into consideration. Best of luck, let us know how it goes!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
This is one of those cases where if you don't talk to her, you'll never know. If you really like her, then the risk of getting hurt is worth it, surely? It's the same risk as asking a man out to be honest. The only thing you can do is talk to her.
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