A
female
age
30-35,
*ourtneeyx
writes:I have been casually seeing a guy since June. We started to get closer in July, and when i hooked up with another guy, he felt hurt. We talked about it, and made up. At a graduation party a week later, i was there with my family, and he was there as well. I left early, and we said our goodbyes, and were texting after i left. However, as i found out the next day, from everyone except the two involved, that the guy, after i left, hooked up with my fifteen year old sister. I was furious. Not only did they both do this to me, for reasons unknown, but neither of them felt the need to tell me about it, or come to me and apologize. The guy called me nonstop, apologizing and crying to me about how much he messed up and how sorry he truly was, even showing up at my house. Not only did this guy cause problems with our relationship, he also caused problems between me and my sister, and i can never look at either of them the same. However, after a week of feeling miserable and depressed, i realized i would have to make some changes. I have liked this guy for some time, and realize everyone makes mistakes, and i decided to forgive him, and my sister. I was sick of being angry. This guy and i became even more serious after this, as though it almost brought us closer together. It is now three months later, and he has asked me to be his girlfriend. Although i like him alot, it still hurts whenever people make comments about what happened, and references to my sister and "keeping it in the family". Did i make the right decision?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): yes, it seems that keeping it in the family is apt. cruel but true.
why only forgive your sister and not him. both messed up , wny only blame him?
she is only 15 right, what exactly does "hooked up" mean - sex or mere kissing and fondling?? if it was sex it was underaged sex and well this spells trouble. what has been your sisters excuse? placing the blame squarely on this guy is not fair and both sould be "punished'. also tell your sis that your boyfriends are off limits from now on.
personally i think they both are pathetic and you would be better off without the cheater. as for the sister, pity you cannot trade her in as well. so young yet so morally corrupt. it takes two to tango and they BOTH are not worth your pain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): yes, it seems that keeping it in the family is apt. cruel but true.
why only forgive your sister and not him. both messed up , wny only blame him?
she is only 15 right, what exaxactly does "hooked up" mean - sex or mere kissing and fondling?? if it was sex it was underaged sex and well this spells trouble. what has been your sisters excuse? placing the blame squarely on this guy is not fair and both sould be "punished'. also tell your sis that your boyfriends are off limits from now on.
personally i think they both are pathetic and you would be better off without the cheater. as for the sister, pity you cannot trade her in as well. so young yet so morally corrupt. it takes two to tango and they BOTH are not worth your pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Forgive your sister, not him, why would you go out with someone who hooked up with your sister! Don't forgive him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Dont be with this guy, that is so disgusting what he did. And your sister should of known better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): It seems to me that he just wanted to even the score or something to that effect after you hooked up with some other guy while dating him and he heard about it. He must have felt pretty humiliated. So he did the immature thing and hooked up with your sister.
Now he has apologized and wants to be exclusive with you.
You want to know if you did the right thing, well nobody knows. There are no guarantees in life including relationships. All you have to decide is if you like/love him enough to wipe the slate clean and start fresh from here, that means forgiving and forgetting and moving forward.
Who cares what other's rude comments are, tell them to bugger off. Only you know how you feel about this guy and how he seems to you.
Your decision, make it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
Don't bother with this guy. He's playing you and your sister. Let him go and find another guy who will be committed.
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