A
female
age
36-40,
*ijacked_dignity
writes:I found something on my boyfriend's phone that has really been bothering me yesterday. I need some advice as to how I can get over this, or if I should trust him, or if I should just move on.I hung out with my boyfriend over sweetest day weekend and we had a good time. Sunday before I left, my boyfriend left his phone on the bed and walked off to do something. I always glance over his phone because it has the internet so I can go online or I just look at our old texts (because they are sweet). He doesn't mind either. So I was looking at our texts and there was someone's name I didn't recognized in his list of contacts. Let's say her name is Clarice. I clicked on the button and there are a total of three texts in the history. They went something like this. Clarice: Happy Sweetest Day, love you.My bf: It's sweetest day? Clarice: lol yeahFreaking out, I went to his call history. There were three missed calls from her a few days ago, none of which he returned the calls for. I asked him to come into the room and confronted him about the message. He said Clarice was a girl who he went to school with five years ago and she got a hold of him through facebook recently. They messaged a few times and he invited her to a show of his, to which she could call him if she wanted tickets. I was obviously very upset. He tried his best to comfort me and promised that it was nothing but a strange text and he didn't know what the deal was behind it. He said he was afraid I was going to leave him over something he couldn't control (her sending him a strange message) and he hoped that I would trust him because he has never lied before. We have been together for a year and a half. I have never felt this detached and distant from him. I almost don't even care at this point if he ever cheats, because I think I might not care about him anymore. It just hurts a lot that this might be something big. Anyway. I don't know what to do. Do you think he's telling the truth? What about this feeling I have? Will it go away? Sorry, I'm just very confused and help would be very appreciated.
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (19 October 2009):
hijacked_dignity is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for the advice, it really helps. Just really shocking to see something like that on your significant other's phone. It's so easy to jump to conclusions.
Anyway, updates already. He has deleted her off his accounts and assures me that he has no urge to talk to her. I didn't even have time to ask him to do so. He said he felt he was obligated to do so because it made me so upset and that he wanted to assure me that nothing was going on as far as his actions were concerned. That she doesn't matter and he was simply looking to sell tickets.
I would like to thank everyone again for putting my mind at ease. He had no issues cutting ties, and I didn't even have to ask him to. :) Thanks muches.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
He did own up to it all and comfort you, so don't give up just yet. Also, she sent him that text, not the other way around. I would suggest that at the moment, you should try to fix this relationship and put this behind you, because it doens't sound like he's cheating. However, clearly be aware of her, because it's likely she got back into contact with him because she likes him. Don't be distant from him, because if you are, he'll leave. Try becoming closer to him again. Good luck.
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