A
male
age
36-40,
*ype
writes:Confused about this girl...likes me or not? im gonna try to cut some stuff out to make this nice and simple i bumped into this girl i knew from high school about a year ago, she added me on facebook and not much happened as we were both in a relationship at the time. i knew she had a crush on me from high school(she was very quiet and shy tho), so just recently we're both single and i try to pursue her. we started talking and I asked her out for our first date, it went well, we went to see a movie, played pool then chilled with her friends at a karaoke bar. we kissed, made out, held hands. i felt like i was in a great position, almost couple like. since then (2-3 months ago) we've been talking on and off, very flirty with each other. we try to talk roughly once or twice a week. werent able to see each other since we're both pretty busy with our lives. the reason we only talk about 2 times a week is that i try not to initiate to seem needy but i would say i start off the conversations 4 out of 5 times. anyways after talking to her for awhile i also get some hints that our first date moved too fast. she is also not to much of a talker, couple conversations later she also starts giving me one word answers? cant tell if shes just quiet or getting tired of us? anyhow i wanted to see if she was interested in me or not so i did not initiate to contact her which went on for roughly a week and half? this worked out well as surprisingly she asks me to go out on a second date. it occurred about 2 weeks ago. she asked me to go dinner + karaoke. i took things slow this time and did not make any move on her. our convos went back to normal and recently i confessed that i like her before we went to bed. she replied back asking why i like her. when i told her why she said that she likes me as a friend, does not feel the same way, doesnt want to lose me or lose what we have. anyways blah blah i told her it does upset me to hear that, but i hope we can stay friends.anyways what she said hurt me, i thought it was over so to try and get over this i gave up trying to contact her. but yesterday she msged me again. we had another heart to heart talk and it went differently this time. we were on a subject about true friends, i mentioned that she is a good friend to her girls and she says "yes although her friend tend to take advantage of it." she also mentions "she gets hurt easily and does not try to get so attached to anyone thats why she may come off as being mean" she also said something like "ive been hurt in the past, you need patience, if people take the time to know me ill open up"im a little confused about this girl, shes hot and cold. im also confused as to why she's telling me stuff like this. is she really talking about her friends or is she trying to hint at me? i am really really starting to like this girl and really really falling hard for her. everytime i feel like i should give up, she knows exactly when to call. my question is what does that mean (not my feelings) her actions, it kind of felt like she was referring all those said above to me. Does she see me as a friend, or perhaps more? Should i be persistent, take it easy or do i have no chance?What do you guys think?thanks in advance
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): It sounds like she wants things to go slowly as she is afraid of getting hurt again. Maybe you could check with her how often contact and dates would need to be, for her to feel comfortable. Once she knows you are understanding about it, she will probably relax a bit more.
A
female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 If she was truly interested, she would make an attempt to connect with you or see you again.
It is possible that bad relationships in her past may still keep her from being able to trust you, but that is not something that you can change. Only when she is ready will she pursue a relationship.
I say it is best to keep the idea of being with her in the backburner until she becomes ready. Do not hold back from trying to meet other people, but if you really like her then just give her time to decide if she is ready to open up to you or not.
Wouldn't it be better to find someone who wants the same things you do now instead of waiting around to see if she MIGHT warm up to you?
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A
female
reader, mysticpurple  +, writes (10 December 2010):
hi thereIt sounds like shes scared to take a chance with a relationship as shes been hurt before, all you can do is talk to her and re assure her if you two were to start a relationship that you would be open and honest. If you two are meant to be together you will be :)
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