A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for about a month now, what do I get him for Christmas?I know I should get him something based on his personality, hobbies, etc but I don't want to overdo it. Any general ideas or opinions on what would be a good gift at this stage of a relationship? A friend suggested that we should set a spending limit for each other so it'll make things easier and less awkward.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): Be positive, you'll have been dating him two months by Christmas Day :-) Anyway, the knack is not to have spent too much money, but to get something that is a fine fit to the person, and thus shows that you care so much as to be observant of their wants (wants which they may not have noticed themselves that they have).Something light-hearted which is particular to the person is good. For example, when I first met my then-gf she was on a "Two Fat Ladies" cooking splurge. So I got her one of their fun aprons and a good quality kitchen knife. She still wears the apron when a cooking mood strikes. We gave the knife to her daughter when she set up in her own place.I travel a lot, and she made me a large string-pull bag to keep my dirty and clean clothes apart in my suitcase. She embroidered a toxic waste symbol onto it. I still use it, and think how lucky I am to be still with her every time I do.Avoid something too expensive -- that brings unpleasant implications of further motives (less base implications that an expensive gift from a man to woman, but still). Unless you are desperate, avoid a generic gift that would suit any male --- that hints that you don't care enough about the person to make an investment in thought and time.The Internet is an absolute boon for this sort of shopping. My favorite film is "A Canterbury Tale" and my wife bought me a UK self-published book about the making of the film.
A
female
reader, jessica-lea  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 hi, getting a christmas present shouldnt be awkward! just get him what you think you should!If you know he is getting you a christmas present aswell then it should be fine ... just dont got overboard and scare him off, somthing small and thoughtful would be ideal, it shows you thought about the present but it doesn't yell marry me! at the same time! Get somthing based on his personality and somthing you know he will like, i am sure he will do the same for you! :D:D
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A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 I'd be inclined to agree with CaringGuy, not necessarily that it might be too soon to give a christmas gift, but you don't want to go overboard and scare him off either.
I had a similar problem with my boyfriend last year, we'd only started dating a month before christmas, so I got him a new tie (mostly to offset his strange passion for ties that look like something vomited on them or skiing reindeer!!) which is something he has to wear for work anyway. Choose something simple, does he like a particular author? Movie? Something that lets him know you're thinking of him at christmas but nothing that screams 'commitment' either!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 November 2009):
A Christmas gift this early on would be a bit too soon. Some guys can get a bit nervous, because it could indicate commitment and that can make men jumpy. But if you really want to, then maybe just get a bottle of wine and spend an evening together so you can get to know each other more.
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