A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have only been married since March, and already he wants to have children, it is all he talks about. I realize that since there is such a huge age difference between us (he's 34, I'm 42), the biological clock is ticking and I need to do this now or never. I spoke with my doctor, who is optomistic about the results, and has given me some drugs to assist with fertility. His parents are excited about the possibility of grandchildren. I'm a bit nervous simply because I am a professional woman, who has always been independent, and now I will really have to rely upon a man to help me, support us, trust him to not leave us. Finances are not an issue, as we can afford to raise children beautifully. I am just worried..... We don't go out, are stay at home people anyways, and I think we can raise a fine family, but I worry about my age.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): You aren't getting any younger.
If you want kids, have them before your body is no longer capable of it.
Why people wait so long, I'll never know.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 There is always gonna be anxiety around taking a step like this...no matter what age you are, or how long you've been married. It involves a huge life-change and massive responsibility. However, if you think you want to be a mum...go for it! We would never get in a car if we were afraid of what could happen!!
Ask yourself this, if you don;t try to have a child will you feel fine about that? You have to do it for you tho - not your hubby, not his parents...you have to want it for you too.
For me - having my child has enriched my life more than I can describe..so I may be biased...but every choice we make involves some risk, you married your man without knowing then if he would stay, be faithful, love you forever...but you did it anyway...so trust him with this too. You have your DR's go-ahead and support...you're financially secure, and who says having a baby means you have to give up your professional goals completely?? I reckon...have the baby!! ;-)
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 I think too much emphasis is put on age these days with regard to having children. Many women are finding that due to careers or simply lack of finding the right partner in their 20's or 30's that they are settling down later in life. If you are fit and well and are still able to have children then why not. You just have to decide if you want children, if so you will need to go ahead sooner rather than later.
You are financially able to provide a comfortable life for a child and you are settled. I know of many women that have had children in their 40's and are glad that they lived their life, did what they wanted to do whilst young and had the time to focus on their children without the worry of continuing with their career or feeling they missed out on life somehow.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (12 June 2008):
I think too much emphasis is put on age these days with regard to having children. Many women are finding that due to careers or simply lack of finding the right partner in their 20's or 30's that they are settling down later in life. If you are fit and well and are still able to have children then why not. You just have to decide if you want children, if so you will need to go ahead sooner rather than later.
You are financially able to provide a cofortable life for a child and you settled and
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): If you want to have children, then this is the perfect time, you can't afford to leave it any longer. You have two choices. To have children, or not to have children.
If you want them, then have them now. Your husband is legal, your married, what's the problem. If you don't want children, then you need to make that decision now. But don't wait any longer, because soon age will take your choices away from you.
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A
female
reader, batfink +, writes (11 June 2008):
I wouldn't worry. Many women these days are having children later in life and many find that their maturity is a massive bonus in raising a family. You are probably more financially and emotionally stable than many people who rush into family life and having children for a woman no longer means that you have to be dependant on a male partner. Would he prepared to be a stay at home Dad? Tht may be a wonderful compromise for the two of you.However, i would ask you, given that you are raising doubts in your question, do you want children or would you be having children for his sake? You don't mention any desire to have kids, only the concerns you have about having them. If you do decide to becoem a mother, be sure it is for the right reasons, that you genuinely want them too as it is a massive life changing experience and you need to be sure, having the finances to raise children is not always the right reason to have them. Having the desire and the capacity to be a loving parent is far more important.I hope you two can sit down and discuss what you want, and come to the decision that is right for you.BF x
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (11 June 2008):
Did you know the average age to have your first baby is now in your thirties?
I think you've chosen the perfect time, you are financially secure and have had experienced life for yourself. Things many parents dont get the chance to have.
As long as you are in good health there isnt anything to worry about. You may want to start taking folic acid.
If you feel ready then you are ready.
Good luck
xxx
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