A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I think I have an original story. I was 19 and away at college. When I came home for the summer my dad took me over to his friends house. I went to school with his kids. We all took the bus together. I was friends with his son who was one year younger than me. He played sports so I often walked his two sisters home from the bus. One of them was the same age as myself and the other a little older than me. The older one wasn't wrapped too tight. There was never anything that even resembled anything between myself and either of these two girls. Well when my dad took me over to his friends house to hang out his friends oldest daughter had a baby. She had named the baby a feminine version of my name which I thought nothing of. I have a common name. Then she started calling me on the phone and wanting to talk to me all the time. I should have mentioned that the father was not around. I had a friend that lived across the street. He was off in the army but I visited his mother and she started saying some pretty mean things to me and she thought I was the father of that baby. I told her I wasn't but she didn't believe me because this girl actually told her I was the father. WE NEVER HAD SEX. I don't even think dna testing was available back then. I had considered confronting her but my brother told me that one sure way of making a rumor grow is to draw attention to it. Publicly she hadn't come out and said I was the father. I also didn't want my dad to think I was the father because he would have made me quit school. So I avoided the confrontation. I just thought that she only told the neighbor across the street. In her immediate area she was a single mother without a husband or even a boyfriend and I was well liked so she told the neighbor I was the father because the real father was a dirt bag. I also felt sorry for her and I thought that was the extent of it. After I graduated I came back to my home town. For a few years I would run into this crazy woman all the time. She was constantly showing up in the same places I was. I finally realised that she was stalking me. At this point I asked her if she had told me people I was the baby's father and she said no. She lied to me though a few more people later told me that she did. She cursed at me and said some horrible things. After that she quit stalking me for a while. About a year after that I was seeing a young woman who I cared deeply for. I truly loved her. She causally befriended her by going to the store where she worked and striking up conversation with her. She worked on her for a few weeks and told her how horrible her daughter's dad was to her. Fianally she dropped my name. My girlfriend confronted me and I told her that I was sorry I didn't tell her sooner that I had some crazy woman stalking me claiming I was her baby daddy. She finally said she believed me but that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. We broke up a few months later. I had heard that dna testing cost about a thousand dollars by this time. I just didn't have money for that as I was in debt but I did consult a lawyer for a free consultation. Because she didn't put my name on the birth certificate if I wanted to prove through dna that I was not the father of her child I would have to sue her and bring witnesses forward that would testify to her saying that I was the father. I couldn't get anyone to come forward and I also ran the risk of her counter sueing me. All she had to say is that she never claimed I was the father. This crazy woman finally met some guy that she ended up marrying. For a few years this woman left me alone. That marriage ended in divorce. Finally my mom passed away. She had a long struggle with cancer. It is the most hardest time of my life. I am a very tough man but I cryed like a baby at her funeral. There she was with her daughter. It wasn't that unusual for her to have been there. My dad was still friends with her dad. My dad know about the rumor and I never said anything to her dad about it as only as far as I knew a few people knew. She walked up to me with the little girl by the hand and she said to me that she wanted her daughter to be at her grandmother's funeral. It was at that point that I nearly lost control. I wanted to knock this woman out. It's only because I didn't want the little girl to see it that I was able to maintain myself. I said some truly horrible things to her in front of the little girl. I am truly sorry for that. That is when everything came to a head. I made the little girl cry. Her dad was there and tried to hit me. People restrained him and that's when I said to her dad that she had gone around telling people I was her baby daddy. Right there she said that wasn't true and that she had never said such a thing. Our families stopped being nice to each other to say the least. I finally moved to another state. I got married and the crazy witch got remarried. I had heard through the grapevine that they had a domestic disturbance and she stabbed the guy with a knife. They split up. big surprise and the guy's car mysteriously combusted into flames after someone poured a flamable liquid all over it. Well this is what it all comes down to. I got a friend request on facebook from the daughter. She is now all grown up. She called me, daddy. I told my wife everything about this crazy woman and her daughter and she asked me if I were sure I wasn't the father. I don't need crazy witch's permission to dna test her daughter now because she is an adult. I emailed the daughter back and said that wanted her phone number which she sent me because I prefer to talk than write. I called her and I told her that I am very sorry but I am not your father. She cried on the phone and said she loved me. I felt horrible. She told me that she didn't believe me and that she didn't want anything from me and I just told her look you and I just need to go get dna tested and settle this once and for all and I will pay for it. It was then her crazy witch mom started yelling because she was on the line the whole time. She threatened me and my wife. I just hung up. Now this crazy woman and her daughter have become a major pain in my butt. I have contacted the daughter again and she refuses the dna test. I have not been given a reason. My problem is my wife is not sure if I am the father of this girl. I feel like I losing respect in her eyes. What did I do to deserve this? What can I do about this?
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broke up, debt, divorce, facebook, grandmother, money, split up, stalking, too tight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): This a cazy bahind story but i can tell u one thing if u go to court then the judge will most likely order a DNA test and that will prove to ur wife and this crazy chick's daughter that this woman is crazy has issues and u arent the father but i would hve told someone besides ur brother from the start that she was starting that kinda rumor there is no excuse for that
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Wow that is a crazy story!! First things first, go to a lawyer and tell him this story and any evidence you have, file a report with the police, get a restraining order against both of them. Carry a small voice recorder in case they call again. Print out any emails or messages you get from them. Carry a note book to note times, dates, makes of cars, licence plate numbers and things like that. Good luck and becareful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Tell your wife to look at the situation for what it is. There are only two people who know the truth about you being the father, you and the witch. You are offering to pay for a DNA test and she is blocking your efforts. That says it all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 April 2010):
 WOw, what a crazy ass witch! I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with this, that is just ridiculous.
Obviously she knows you aren't the father or she would have tried to claim you for child support.
I would still try and have the DNA test done, if the daughter agrees to it. FOR HER sake. Screw her crazy ass mother. Goodness only knows what that woman have put in her daughters head.
ALSO I would contact a lawyer. And get a restraining order for BOTH females.
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A
female
reader, Eva_shaw  +, writes (12 April 2010):
Well, I hardly ever post here but I am an attorney and I can assure you that there are many remedies available to you. It of course depends on where you are at as laws tend to differ from state to state and country to country. One thing that pops in mind if defamation. If this woman is ruining your reputation you may have the right to sue and may be awarded damages. The judge may order a DNA testing in this case so the other party will have no choice but to accept it. It is hardly invasive but nobody can physically force someone to submit a sample but the refusal itself weighs in the eyes of the law just as well. If you were my client I would suggest get a lawyer to send a proper letter in which you threaten to take action in court and have it properly served to her. This serves two objectives a) most people are intimidated by the impending legal action and stop offensive behavior b) it can be used as evidence in future litigation proving both your sincere desire to settle this without dragging anyone to court and that you did your best to otherwise resolve the situation. It hardly sounds like stalking to be honest (even though I would probably call her a stalker anyway) but my opinion is that you should take some short of action but not be the aggressor. You have rights.Of course what I have suggested is the proper action in the country where I am practicing.Different countries may have a different system of rules to follow. Consult an attorney and don't allow this thing to fester as it can lead to additional problems in the future.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 Wow -- that's quite the story! You're right -- I don't think I've seen that one come up here before.
Your wife should be reassured that the girl refuses DNA testing. It's hardly invasive -- a Q-tip run around your gums. So it's because they don't care to have the answer confirmed. Nonetheless the persistence of these people would have to be offputting.
Consult an attorney. I doubt you can get a restraining order, but look into it. And look in to the stalker laws. Traditionally the law isn't of much help in these cases, but that has begun to change. Investigate what legal remedies are available. And begin to document every instance of contact with these people.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 April 2010):
You have offered the DNA test, it was refused. What more does anyone want? You don't need to be in contact with these people at all, so refuse all contact possible. Reassure your wife again and again that if she was yours, a DNA test would prove it, and since they're not up for it, they have to be lying. Also, if you are threatened again, talk to the police and tell them everything you have here. Surely your wife can see you're being set up. You offered the DNA test, this other woman refused. Not your problem, and you owe nothing to them at all.
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