| A ,
anonymous
writes: I was with this guy for over a year and a half. Things weren't working out so I ended up cheating on him. The guy I cheated on him is the guy I am still with. The problem is I have this guy friend who I am really close to and I have liked for a long time but didn't think he liked me. A few weeks ago we both confessed we liked each other, but I told him nothing could happen because I have a boyfriend and I dont want to ruin our friendship. The thing is my feelings just keep getting stronger for him and I like him so much now. I don't want to hurt the guy I'm with but it isn't fair to him for me to be thinking about someone else all the time. Please help me. I don't know what to do! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Gordon +, writes (26 August 2005):
I don't wish to sound harsh but, speaking from experience, there's a common term used:
"what goes around comes around"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2005):
Why do you feel this "need" to cheat? Could it be because you are lonely or do you want to escape the monotony of the long term relationship? Is it easier just to screw around on the guy than to be a woman of integrity and come clean with your feelings?
There are the selfish women who do find good men who love them but continue to consort with other men for sexual excitement. If this odd habit of cheating is just a 'hunger' you have for more emotional intimacy, for an ego boost...cheating on a guy is the most painful way you could do this. Take a good hard look inside yourelf and ask why you have the compulsion to do this. Do you not have any thoughts or compassion for the pain & devastation you cause others? Why not be honest...tell him what the problem is and try to resolve it with him...don't go messing around on him. Or at least respect him enough to be upfront and he can move on withut suffering the indignity of his girlfriend cheating on him.
Personally, it sounds like you get bored with a guy real fast. I also think you love the excitement of a new relationship..and all the attention you get. I think you cheat for support, to be nurtured and to reinforce your own desirability. You feel very neglected, so you decide to get it [sex] elsewhere. If you have a need to keep doing this to the men in your life...get some professional help and most of all, learn to love yourself. Because if you love yourself.you won't have to keep inflating your ego by feeling loved and desired, constantly. This is my opinion...take it or leave it and good luck
...............................
A
reader, Matt,20 +, writes (7 July 2005):
PLEASE STOP!Ask your self what really do you want in a guy, it seems to me you are very confused, I have been cheated many many times and hurt me very much! ( Finally I got a beautiful girlfriend ) So will hurt with all your boyrfriends you had,( as you are pretty much aware ) have and will have if you keep going on like this!Put you self in his shoes for a second, how would you feel if that happens to you ? , you fall in love with a great guy, but he falls in love with other girl while he is with you! It's horrible.Please stop dating, and then decide , but never get into a relationship, go out with the guys, but never say I Like you when you are committed to comeone else.Once you have experienced all guys while you NOT in a relatioship, which that is possible, then you will be able to answer your question... You didn't say how old are you, but I'm assuming that you are young, so experience things without getting serious.That is possible.Matt,20.
...............................
A
reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (13 June 2005):
 It looks to me like there's a bit of a pattern here.
Make your mind up which guy you want to be with and stick with him. It's not fair to the other guys to be messed around like that and you will probably end up with none of them if they find out what you're up to.
Oh and don't ask me out, I don't fancy being cheated on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 June 2005):
 YOu need to be careful on this one or you will end up on your own. It sounds as though you alwasy think that the grass is greener in the other side! Be warry, if your not happy with the guy you are with then you should finsih things before moving on to the next guy.. it seems that if you are that interested in someone else then the guy you are with isnt the one for you ? or he is and you simply like the attention that others are paying to you. Think long and hard before you decide, you dont want to end being known as a cheater. Do whats right for you, but becareful that you dont make the same mistakes and end up with someone else just because they said they were interested... the grass isnt alwasy greener!
...............................
A
reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (12 June 2005):
 What you need to think about is 'which one will make you happier'. Which one will protect you and give you all the satisfaction you need and deserve. Which one will be there for you when you are hurt and lonely? Which one will be by your side if you fall pregnant or are feeling really low?
...............................
|
