A
female
age
30-35,
* gr8 frnd..
writes:i cheated on my bf with my best friend......... now i don know how to tell him as i reli jus don wanna lose him at any cost.. i love my bf a lot... should i tell him...???? if yes, how????? plz help.....
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male
reader, Who  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Well, if you were from a western country or Japan, I would say you are young and just starting out in the romance business, and you don’t know yet what you want. I would say most teen agers have several different love interests growing up, and you should expect to lose several boyfriends along the way, getting your heart broken each time.
But I see you are from India, and when you say “boyfriend” and “cheated” it may mean something very different than in the west. I lived/worked/travelled in India and Nepal for 2 ½ years back in the 80’s, and am aware of the cultural differences between parts of India, and between different ethnic groups and religions, that dramatically change what you should do in your situation.
So I am going to give different advice than posted below. Do you think your best friend is going to tell anyone what happened? If not, I would suggest you do not tell anyone about it ever. No one. Not your sister, best girl friend, no one. And never means until you die. It is going to take nerve to do this, and you will have to control any guilt you feel. But other teen age girls have pulled things like this off and have gotten away with it. And pulling it off will have the same effect on those around you as if it never happened.
If you think your best friend will tell what happened, you need better advice than you are going to get from me or anyone else on this site. You will need advice from someone who understands you culture and society, and understand how it has and is changing. Hopefully you have an older female relative whom you trust and can confide in. A lady who cares about you and know the old ways, and the new ways of today. Tell her and no one else; the two of you will work out what to do.
Good luck and sorry I could not be better help.
A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Don't tell him!!! You made a mistake aslong as you know this wont happen again then dont tell him as your break his heart and lose him so whats the point??? Your young so your still learning about love and relationships....this is your first learning curb! Maybe its best if you end it with your boyfriend and be on your own, enojy being single!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): If you didnt want to lose him at any cost then why have you betrayed him. If it was an honest mistake then tell him. Ur only making it worse by keeping the truth at bay. Easy 4 us 2 judge but you know that it was wrong & you cant change it so at least tell the truth. Imagine if he found out some other way. Disaster. If you want any chance of keeping him then fess up & accept what you have done & the consequences. Your lesson is this.. Dont cheat!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): wow great language skills and so many question marks....i reli ju don? what does that mean?
sigh...
when you say you cheated how?
i would tell your Boy friend, if you love him- think how you want to be treated - is it right to live a lie?
you just say "um i have done something stupid..."
then go from there...
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, Seven_Deadlies +, writes (18 May 2009):
 If you loved him, you wouldn't have cheated on him really. The best thing is to tell him straight away, the longer you leave it the harder it will for you to tell him and the harder it will for him to forgive you. So do it as soon as you can other wise he could find out by someone else.
Just sit him down, tell him how much you love him and tell him what you did. Its going to hurt him but if he loves you back he will forgive you eventually. Although he's going to have trouble trusting you again in the future so you have to make an effort and promise not to let it happen again and make it up to him!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (18 May 2009):
 but that's the point isn't it?
you ARE going to lose him.
you chose to cheat on him and make him feel like a fool so eitehr way you're going to lose him.
i mean you do HAVE to tell him.
and perhaps if he is forgiving enough you guys may actually work out but if not you do need to understand where he is coming from i mean think of it from his point of view like put yourself in his position.
i'm sure you'd be pretty miffed if you found out he cheated on you with one of his girl mates there is no easy way to tell someone you've cheated on them.
but you're going to have to tell him whatever the out come.
hope this helps
x
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